An Unarranged Marriage
by The Grey Inbetween
Summary: Akuroku. Roxas finds himself being constantly sexually assaulted by the crazy new redheaded guy at work. But just when he thinks that maybe they could be friends, Axel suggests that they should get married for grant money! And Roxas is much displeased.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: One day, my diabolical plan to own Axel and Roxas and force them to makeout every day of their existance until the end of time will succeed, and I will be a happy, happy person. Until then, I *guess* Tetsuya Nomura can have them. For now.

**Author's Notes**: Uh, hey there! I'm Grey, and this little baby is the first chapter of my very first fanfic story, Unarranged Marriage. So, funnily enough, this story is vaguely based off something that happened at the bookstore where I work at. And it got to me to thinking, what if it led to this...and then it made me giggle, and I figured I would give writing a try. So yay for inspiration. Anyway, I've only written the first part of what I estimate will probably be a three-parter. So if you like it, be sure to look out for the next part when I write it. :D Oh, and the title won't make any sense until later on in the story, like the second part (or third if it becomes a four-parter.)

Also, I'm a huge fan of crack humor and perv!Riku and psychotic!Axel. So yeah. Be forewarned. ;)

* * *

**An Unarranged Marriage**

"You're hired."

These two seemingly innocuous words would be the death of him. The single catalyst that would bring about his own Apocalypse. A ticking time bomb that would inevitably explode in his face in a horrible world of _badness_, and would in all probability result in a desperate need for some serious, hardcore therapy afterwards.

Roxas Strife didn't know this though.

Not yet.

Roxas, being unable to see into the future, did not know the fate he sealed for himself as he shook the hand of his new boss. Had he any sort of precognitive abilities, he would have taken corrective measures to ensure that none of it would ever be able to come to fruition. Knowing the volatile blonde, it probably would involve the complete annihilation of the bookstore that would be his downfall, taking everybody down with him in a flaming ball of glory. Or, y'know… _something_.

As it was, however, Roxas just smiled brightly, if not somewhat nervously. "Really? I've got the job?"

Roxas made a note to thank his lucky stars later. He really needed the job to help pay for his college tuition so he wasn't swimming up to his eyeballs in debt. Radiant Garden University was _expensive_. And finding employment that was willing to work around a school schedule was a _bitch_. He was about ready to go and pimp out his body to pay for his classes, or worse, take out student loans, until he had finally swallowed his pride and begged his older brother to help him get a job.

The manager grinned widely as he began to give a tour of his store to the newest recruit, and Roxas tried not to dwell on how creepy it made the man look, especially with those yellow eyes that almost seemed to glow. "Oh yes. Sora's one of the greatest employees we have at the Hollow Bastion Bookstore, and when he mentioned that he had a little brother…well, we just knew that you'd be a great addition to our bookseller team."

Roxas willed himself to believe that the older man was not _leering_ at him in a most predatory manner, because it probably wouldn't be a good idea to assault your manager on your first day of work on account of sexual harassment.

"Oh, um, th-thank you, Mr. Xemnas, uh, Sir. I'm glad to, uh, be working here today." Roxas winced at his own stammering, distracted by the hand that had found its way around his shoulder. He reasoned to himself that this crazy silver-haired man with the golden cat eyes probably meant it to be a fatherly-mentor gesture, but all Roxas could think to himself was, "child molester." He grabbed the nearest object that could pass as a blunt force weapon should the need to protect himself arise, and clutched the dictionary to himself possessively.

Roxas was brought out of his inner debate on how to best remove the creepy hand that had dared to enter his personal bubble without losing his new-found job by an equally creepy chuckle. "Oh, just call me Xemnas. Besides, you're already part of the family, after all that Sora's told us about _you_."

Something about the way he said this had Roxas on instant alert. It was not something he was going to like. "It's like we've known you forever." The way he smirked and increased his leer sent shivers down Roxas's back.

"Like how you used to have Little Mermaid bed sheets until you were thirteen -"

-Roxas turned an embarrassed shade of red-

"- and then Sora was nice enough to show us all of your naked baby pictures -"

-Roxas's jaw dropped-

"- and he told us about that _cute_ heart-shaped birthmark you have on your -"

Roxas squawked, waving his arms around wildly while scrabbling to pick up the remaining shreds of his manly dignity, mortification burning his face to a blazing 200 degrees Celsius. "_What?_ Why the hell do you even know those things about me? Why would Sora even _tell_ you?"

Xemnas looked at Roxas like the answer should have been rather obvious, even to someone possessing somewhat dubious intelligence. "Because we asked." Roxas's eye twitched, gears turning in his head furiously. Obviously he had no choice. If he just took out everybody here, he could flee to Mexico, get a new name, start a new life, and then no one would know about that damn heart on his -

"Hey, Roxas!" a familiar voice called out from behind. The blonde spun around to the source of his current irritation, eyes narrowing. _Sora_.

A boy who looked almost identical to Roxas, except for the wilder brunette hair, strolled up to his brother with a grin on his face, clasping his hands behind his head. "So is ol' Xemmy giving you the orientation?"

Xemnas laughed. "Oh yes. We were just talking about that unusual birthmark on his—"

"_Sora_." Roxas's teeth made an audible grinding noise.

Sora's grin faltered slightly as waves of fury radiated from the other teen. "Roxas? You okay? You look a little tense."

It was then that Roxas tackled his older brother, and managed to get written up for physical assault on his first day on the job.

* * *

It was a job. A good job, in fact. The pay was pretty good too, when you took into account the immense flexibility he was granted concerning his school schedules. Yes, working at the Hollow Bastion bookstore was all that and a bag of chips. Not to mention the employees he worked with were fun to be around. There was always Sora, his dearest older brother who had convinced Xemnas to give his poor little brother a job, and not to mention the loud-mouthed, musically-talented Demyx, with whom Roxas had quickly formed an easy camaraderie.

(That is to say, after Demyx had a great laugh at Roxas's expense following his dumping a bucket of water on the shorter blonde, and after Roxas retaliated by bringing in a SWAT-worthy Super Soaker squirt gun that was nearly the size of the soon-to-be-drenched Demyx the next day to serve up some payback, they formed their quick camaraderie.)

There was also Zexion, who was as quiet and reserved as Demyx was loud and obnoxious. He also seemed to be the only one in the store who could successfully instill any small measure of somberness into the faux-mohawked musician. Roxas thought he was pretty cool, if not a bit geeky. Roxas once commented on the fact that the store always seemed to be a little cold to him, and the slate-haired man then proceeded to give a twenty-minute lecture complete with pie charts and algorithms that involved imaginary numbers and hypothetical calculus on why it was the precise temperature that would preserve the books the longest. Roxas made a note to never mention anything of the sort again.

Marluxia and Larxene were rather creepy, but they hardly ever emerged from the stockroom. Judging by the sounds he could hear coming from within - they were either watching porn, enacting it, or making small animal sacrifices - he vowed that he was never touching anything back there ever without disinfectant gloves.

Xemnas was pretty insane, and often Roxas wondered how anyone thought that giving him control of his own store would be a good idea, but he stayed out of his way as much as possible, so it was usually okay. Except maybe for the not-so-rare occurrence when he would pull out a machete that Roxas was relatively sure was against the "No Weapons" policy in the store, and sharpened it with grandeur while sending a meaningful glance to anyone who happened to be slacking off. Usually Roxas. (Who had given some time to consider the possibility of Xemnas possibly being related to his cousin's ex-boyfriend, Whatsisname. They both had the long, flowing silver hair going for them, as well as an obvious lack in moral inhibitions. Sacramento, was it? Not quite. Seraph? No, that wasn't it either.)

And then there was Riku.

After a month of Roxas getting hired, Xemnas announced that the staff would attend the orientation of the new hire to meet him. And Riku joined the employment team. Roxas felt an instant amicable friendship towards the white-haired boy.

And by amicable friendship, I _totally_ mean homicidal rage. Well, it didn't start out that way. Oh no. Roxas had felt complete and total _apathy_ towards him for a grand total of 3.4 seconds, which was about the time it took for Riku to lay his eyes on Roxas's innocently ignorant older brother and, very obviously I might add, mentally remove Sora of every article of clothing. Roxas could practically _hear_ the strip tease music playing in Riku's head, which he was fairly certain was a poor rendition of _Ice, Ice Baby_. It was at this point that Roxas began to stab Riku with the nearest book. How he managed to impale the "pasty-faced lecher," causing him to need 13 stitches, with a paperback copy of _Surgical Castration for Sex Offenders_ was anybody's guess.

Riku's perversion aside, the job was pretty great, and the next six months of Roxas's days as a retail seller went by smoothly and peacefully.

By which, I _obviously_ mean that Demyx nearly burnt down the store—_how,_ exactly, he almost accomplished this was a mystery, and he sure wasn't telling, although if you were to ask Zexion, he would cough discreetly and turn a curious shade of pink before smoothly changing the subject with a quiet murmur—and in the process of putting out the fire, managed to instead flood the entire store, ruining the entire stock of books and having to close the shop in the week that it took for a new inventory to arrive.

Sora attempted three times to turn the stockroom into a homeless shelter for stray kittens, thus setting off Xemnas's feline allergies, which lead to multiple trips to the hospital as his breathing tube slowly swelled shut each time Sora found a new furry friend. This _almost_ lead to a suspension of Sora's pay, but nobody—not even the heartless Xemnas—could resist those impossibly blue puppy-dog eyes.

Xemnas was forced to try to explain to Sora about the birds and the bees after the brunette made the fatal mistake of walking into the stockroom one day while Marluxia and Larxene were…uh, well they certainly weren't hard at work back there. At least, not from a professional standpoint. Depending on your level of perversion, you might be able to say they were _very_ hard at work. But that is slightly beside the point.

Several PowerPoint presentations, pie charts, and diagrams later, Sora was still as clueless about where babies come from, and Xemnas was fighting an aneurysm from the repeated failures of his attempts to educate Sora. He eventually settled for telling Sora that Marluxia and Larxene were…making a call to the stork. Which he figured wasn't a total lie, since it was only a matter of time before Larxene got knocked up from their… activities. Sora pointed out they didn't have a phone. Xemnas sighed—_Why me?_ he wondered, not for the first time—and made a convoluted lie that had something to do with an intricate ritual ceremony that was needed to call the stork, which was what Sora had walked in on. Sora's mouth formed an 'o,' and thanked Xemnas solemnly for imparting his worldly wisdom on him. Xemnas mentally calculated the days to retirement, and cried internally.

And then there was the annual Christmas party, where everyone thought Larxene was kind enough to bring a fruitcake (and, really, that should have been the biggest warning, because having the words "Larxene" and "kind" in the same sentence is either a horrible, horrible lie, or a sign of the apocalypse. Unless the sentence is "Larxene loves being kind almost as much as Satan loves puppies and donating to charity." Then it would be fairly accurate.) which was later discovered to contain more than enough alcohol to put down approximately thirteen African elephants into a coma. The less said about this party, the better. (Xemnas also threatened to fire anyone on the spot who ever dared to mention it again.)

And, of course, Roxas and Riku both nearly got fired every single day, Roxas on account of physical assault ("Damn lecher can't keep his grubby paws to himself," Roxas seethed, still attempting to fit _Crime and Punishment _down Riku's throat.) and Riku on account of sexual assault ("Uh usth unt elp uhself, hees sho ud ooking!" Riku squawked—Zexion, being the most intelligent of the bunch, was kind enough to translate this into "I just can't help myself, he's so good-looking"—arms flailing wildly as his jaws tried to operate around Dostoevsky's most famous work making its way past his tonsils. Sora remained blissfully ignorant of all of the proceedings.).

All in all, all things considered, those six months went by as smoothly and peacefully as can possibly be expected, considering they all made for one really messed up employment staff. Yup, life was good.

And then Axel came and shot it all to hell. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. The destruction of the world—at least, Roxas's little world—doesn't come until later, so we'll continue on with our regularly scheduled programming.

Life selling books to Hollow Bastion's general populace was a pretty relaxing gig in Roxas's book, and, considering the sheer number of college students flipping burgers and having the smell of grease permanently seep into their every pore, he counted himself to be pretty lucky in the employment world.

And then Demyx mentioned to Xemnas one day, "So hey, I've got this friend who could totally use a job…" in a manner similar to how Sora had done to get his beloved baby brother hired.

That day would be the starting catalyst in a snowball of events that would result in Roxas's eminent and inevitable humiliation, degradation, and general decimation of any shred of masculine pride that he ever hoped to build with his whole _so-much-as-look-at-me-funny-and-I-swear-I-will-__**cut**__-you_ thing he had going on.

Looking back, Roxas would realize that as a friend, Demyx _sucked_. And he would never be able to forgive him for the torture that he went through because of it. He made a mental note to extract his revenge later.

(And months down the road on the day after said revenge, Roxas would come to discover that being related to Sora had major perks. For example: When Demyx would come storming into work one day wanting to know who the _hell_ had dyed every article of his clothing hot pink and confront Roxas, he would look up in faux surprise, widening his baby blues that were identical to his brother's _just_ the right amount until he was practically oozing innocence, and would point at himself, saying, "Who, me?" And because he looked so much like his do-no-wrong brother, Demyx would believe him. Roxas would pat his own back later in a congratulatory manner, smirking for getting away with it.)

* * *

Roxas sighed at the giant mound of books that were sitting innocently at a wooden table flanked by giant plush armchairs, forgotten by whatever customer had pulled them out and expected the workers to put them back away. It was tedious, mindless work, straightening up the store. Not that he minded. He was paid pretty well for doing next to nothing. Even so…

Roxas turned down another aisle, continuing his valiant search of customers in need (which there seemed to be a never-ending supply), to find another stack of books, this one of the graphic sex variety, shoved away in an isolated corner. His eye twitched, hoping that rubber gloves and disinfectant would not be necessary to put them away. It wouldn't be the first time.

Even so, sometimes he wished that some people weren't so… _messy_.

He was glad it was almost closing time. He wouldn't have to deal with any more customers in - here he checked his watch - just under forty minutes. After another hour of cleaning the store for the night, and he was home free. Roxas gave a little weary sigh. Good, he was going to go back to his dorm and _sleep_.

But until then, he still had his job to do. He stared at the porno books with distaste. They stared cheerily back, looking as if they were in the throes of complete ecstasy. Roxas wasn't entirely sure how that was possible, but he increased the level of his glare anyway.

He picked up the top book in the pile with two fingers, trying to touch the least amount of the cover as possible while not dropping it. He held it out at an arm's distance to inspect it.

There on the cover was a woman with shiny red lips, laughing as if she had just heard the world's funniest joke, holding what might have been a cucumber up to her jovial mouth. Roxas squinted his eyes and tilted his head 28 degrees to the right, trying to read the title without allowing the book to come any closer to him. _How to Tickle His Pickle_.

Oh. _Oh_.

Roxas quickly dropped the book with a bark of shock and revulsion as comprehension set in, and frantically rubbed his hands on the front of his shirt in a desperate attempt to disinfect them.

Zexion ghosted past the aisle in that moment, nearly giving Roxas a heart attack. His gasp alerted Zexion of his presence, and the quiet employee backtracked to where Roxas stood, raising an eyebrow in question. Roxas frowned slightly. He couldn't get over how stealthily the slate-haired man moved.

"Don't sneak up on me like that, Zex. You'll give me a heart attack." Roxas massaged his rapidly beating organ in his chest, trying to calm it down to a normal rate.

Zexion smirked quietly. "Well, if I had known that you would be immersing yourself in sex books, I would have made sure to stay well away. I do _not_ need to be a witness to that," he murmured in his soft, arrogant tone.

Roxas fought an embarrassed blush and growled. "That's not what I was doing, and you know it." He pointedly ignored Zexion's quickly growing smirk, and scooped all the books into his arms to head back to the information desk and dump them onto Sora to put away.

The brunette, who spotted his good-for-nothing-but-annoyingly-talented-at-getting-out-of-work brother approaching with his arms full of books and pleading eyes full of crocodile tears, and glared. And then crossed his arms to bolster his resolve. Because he was _so_ not going to do Roxas's job this time.

Roxas strolled up, failing to hide his grin. "Sooo-ra," he called out in a sing-song voice.

Sora upped his glare, which really just looked more like a pout. "Roxas, if you think for one second that I am going to put those things away for you again, then you are wrong."

Roxas put his hand over his heart and feigned hurt, like his older brother's words had wounded his soul.

"Sora, you are my dearest older brother. It hurts me that you would think that I came over here just to manipulate you into doing my share of the work. Really." Roxas jutted out his lower lip just slightly for emphasis, a technique that he had learned from Sora long ago.

Sora didn't seem too happy about his own attack being used against him. He crossed his arms and put on his best glare. "Roxas, you put those away right now, or…or…" He scrunched up his face to think of a good threat. He suddenly grinned in a rare spurt of maliciousness. "Or I will tell Zexion that it was you who spilled coffee all over his research paper notes."

Roxas took a step back, shocked. "You w_ouldn't_. Besides, you know that was an accident." Sora snorted derisively, but Roxas continued on, pointedly ignoring him. "_And_ he had them all backed up on a computer anyways. So no harm, no foul. There's no need to bring that up. Opening old wounds, and all." He chuckled nervously while scratching the back of his head.

Sora wasn't having any of it, and raised an eyebrow. "Put away books, or face Zexion's wrath. Which do you want?"

Roxas frowned. That was not an idle threat. He had seen Zexion angry a grand total of one time, and that was when he had received an A- on a psychology exam. Roxas had read about it in the paper. Some creepy old professor guy named Vexon who coincidentally happened to teach Zexion's Psych class had wound up in the psychiatric ward spouting gibberish about the darkness and hearts and some other creepy stuff. Zexion seemed very smug the next day when his grade mysteriously changed to an A+, murmuring something about how a good mindfucking did wonders in the academic sense. Roxas had the good sense not to ask.

Roxas sighed with great aplomb. "Fine, fine. I'll go put away the books." As he trudged away resignedly, Sora called out to him. He glanced back over his shoulder.

"Oh, Rox, I almost totally forgot. Xemnas asked me to tell you. We've got a new employee getting hired."

Roxas narrowed his eyes. "If it's another useless waste of space like Riku, tell Xemnas to save himself some trouble and fire him already." He turned around again and managed to take another step.

"He _also_ told me to tell you to be nice to this one if you said something like that," Sora admonished. "And that we're supposed to meet him tonight after we close."

Roxas scoffed. "I have better plans for tonight than meeting the new guy. It involves me sleeping and _not_ being at work longer than I have to be."

Sora shrugged and held his hands up in the universal sign for _I'm-just-the-messenger-and-would-__**really**__-appreciate-not-getting-shot-as-bodily-harm-does-not-sound-like-fun-times-to-be-had_. "Sorry, Xemmy's orders. Besides, maybe the new guy'll be cool." He grinned brightly. "Or maybe he'll be your new punching bag. I'm sure Riku would love a break from that."

Roxas gave a bark of laughter, turning away with a pile of books in hand to put away. "Don't hold your breath. That'll never get old." He shook his head lightly, still chuckling as he got back to work.

* * *

Roxas tilted his head back, staring at the bookshelves that seemed to stretch until they reached the ceiling. He had one last book to put away, and then the store would be clean. And thankfully it was almost time to close. But before that, he just had to find out where the remaining book was supposed to go. He stood in an aisle that was rarely perused, due to it being in a far corner of the store where the light fixtures never seemed to work properly. As the light flickered on and off, shadows played off of the wall. He resisted the urge to shiver. If there was ever a corner of the store ideal for murderers to accost unsuspecting employees, it was this one. He really hated this corner.

He spotted the hole where the book had been pulled from. On the top shelf. Of course.

Roxas glared at the offending book in his hand. Then he glared up at the shelf where the book was supposed to be, a good three feet above his head. He growled, cursing his short stature.

He spied around for a stepstool to bolster his height, to no avail. He sighed, glancing back up to where he was supposed to place the book, which in his imagination seemed to be growing further away by the second. He could always get Demyx to do it for him, he _was_ kind of freakishly tall, but that would just result in a barrage of teasing. Roxas's glare increased. _Not_ going to happen.

He could always climb the shelves, of course. Sure, there was an ostentatious sign that proclaimed that it was strictly against the rules to do so in big red letters, but if he didn't get caught, no one would be the wiser. And then he wouldn't have to deal with Demyx calling him "Shorty" again. He liked the musician, and would feel bad if he had to kill him now.

He looked both ways to make sure Xemnas wasn't around to see him – last time he broke the rules (which, if memory served him right, was yesterday) and gotten written up ("The pasty-faced bastard totally deserved it," Roxas had defended himself to Xemnas, glaring at Riku who was looking beaten up but smug as Sora fretted and tended to his numerous bruises) the tired manager sighed and warned him with a month of bathroom duty if he stepped one more toe out of line, along with a vague threat to skin him alive while simultaneously extracting his intestines as Roxas watched on helplessly - took a deep breath, and began to scale the shelves.

He placed his foot gently on the first shelf above the ground, not sure if it would hold his weight. He had seen them break once before when someone else had the bright idea to climb them – hence the warning sign – but that had been Riku, and as far as Roxas was concerned, Riku was a big, fat, prissy _bitch_. So Roxas - short, skinny Roxas - should be safe.

He reached another shelf higher, and felt, rather than heard, an ominous creaking as his current foothold shelf strained in protest. Roxas gulped, instantly realizing that this probably wasn't a fantastic idea. _But_, Roxas thought, glancing upwards, _it's only one shelf more. I'm saving Demyx's life, the ungrateful bastard, by not giving him an opportunity to tease me and being forced to murder him afterwards_. He lifted his foot to climb the next shelf, but the creaking turned into a wail of metal screaming that it really did not like this idea at all, why would you do this to me, whyyyy? Roxas immediately put his foot back down on his current shelf-hold. He frowned up at the hole again. He could probably reach it if he just stretched his arm a little…

He reached up with his right arm with the book in hand until he felt his shoulder was about to pop out of its socket. While using his left hand to hold onto the shelves to prevent him falling, his fingertips just brushed the hole where the troublesome book ought to be – _one more inch_ - when he felt _it_. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up on end, and he could just _feel_ that somebody was staring at him.

Roxas gulped, realizing that this _was_ Murderer Corner, and got the sudden and irrational thought that a possible stalker, would-be murderer/rapist, waited below for him. Okay, maybe his imagination was getting away with him after that horror movie marathon with Sora last night. But still. It was totally possible. Goosebumps rose on his arms and his palms started to sweat, endangering his precarious hold on the bookshelf.

He shook his head violently. He was being ridiculous. He resisted the urge to smack himself in the face. While he was sure it would help him regain his common sense, it was also a failsafe way to ensure he went plummeting to the ground. Sure, it was only a three-foot drop, but still. If a stalker-possibly-insane-murderer-maybe-even-Hannibal-Lecter was there, waiting for a fleshy snack, he would be falling right into his arms…

No, no, no. He was being stupid. He was going to look down, and _no one was going to be there_. Yes, that was exactly what was going to happen. He was going to show himself that he was all alone. Nooobody there. Yep. Just going to look down, and he would see that everything was alright in the world. Nobody there. All alone…

Roxas looked down. And he was not alone.

There below him was a tall, lanky redhead, whose spiky, fiery hair seemed to have just exploded from his skull, looking almost too thin for his body to support itself. He had eager, luminescent green eyes that were taking him in with a half-lidded gaze. And he was grinning hungrily….and staring somewhere around Roxas's midsection…

Roxas looked down at his stomach, to find a good two inches of skin exposed, his shirt having lifted up from his one arm still extended in the air. He felt his jaw slacken slightly in horror. This guy was obviously a depraved pervert. His brain automatically resupplied the theory of the stalker-slash-rapist-slash-murderer.

"Hey, gorgeous. You gonna stay up there all day and stare at me," – Roxas, eye twitching slightly, took a moment to inanely debate whether to point out it was not _him_ doing the staring – "or you gonna come down and talk?" the stranger said, smirking fit to burst.

Roxas scoffed. _Talk. Right. If by talk you mean steal my skin to upholster your couch and leave my corpse in a river, which I know you totally mean._

Roxas noticed that his foot was level with this crazy man's stomach, and tried to calculate whether he would have enough time to run into the employee break room and lock himself in after kicking the redhead in the intestines.

It was at this moment that Roxas's sweaty palms betrayed him, and he fell from atop his high perch with a most unmanly shriek.

Roxas scrunched his eyes closed, expecting his skull to meet an untimely death on the floor. When no such impact came, he slowly ventured one eye open. He immediately wished that his brain had been allowed to splatter on the ground.

"Hello, beautiful. You must be an angel, because I swear you just fell out of heaven and into my arms." The tall, possibly deranged, man held Roxas in his arms, where he had caught him bridal-style and stopped his death plunge. He looked almost proud of himself, as if he thought his pickup line was rather clever.

Roxas didn't think it was clever. Not clever _at all_.

"Excuse me?" Roxas's demanded indignantly, eyes narrowed dangerously. He cursed himself for leaving his cell phone in the break room. He could _so_ be dialing 911 right now.

The tall man looked like he couldn't decide if Roxas was being particularly dense or not. Hesitating slightly, like it should have been rather obvious, he proceeded to explain himself. "Get it? Because you fell from up there, and…and I caught you...and…uh…" His voice trailed off at the look of pure murder on the short blonde.

Roxas growled viciously. "Put. Me. _Down_."

Instead of having the desired effect of the tall man complying and apologizing humbly and leaving him the hell alone, the stranger seemed to regain his mental footing instantly and grinned again. "No can do. _So_ sorry." He didn't sound even the slightest bit repentant. Roxas narrowed his eyes further until they were just slits in his face with a vicious glint of blue.

Roxas reached discreetly behind him towards the nearest shelf, hoping to grab a book to beat the tall man with. "And just _why_ can't you put me down?"

"Well, being the considerate gentleman that I am, I figured that your legs must be dead tired, because you've been running through my head all day." He paused thoughtfully. "Well, maybe not all day. But at least the five minutes I was watching you." The ubiquitous grin again.

Roxas, who had just managed to grab a hefty hardback book that promised maximum beating potential, stared up into the maniacal green eyes with a disbelieving stare. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you? Who the hell _are_ you?"

The redheaded man looked like this was the opening he had been waiting for the entire conversation. "I'm Mr. Right. I think you were looking for me?" He was positively beaming at himself for coming up with that. Roxas felt sure that he had a notecard somewhere full of similar pick-up lines. Probably to lure in potential victims for his rapist-murdering hobbies, the damn bastard. Playtime was over.

Roxas brought the book down in a wide arc – well, as much as he could manage while still trapped in arms that were a lot stronger than they looked – and landed a solid hit right where the man's windpipe should be, if he remembered anything from his Anatomy class.

Roxas thanked his lucky stars he hadn't slept through that particular lecture, as this had the desired result of Roxas being released from his prison, and also granted him the less desired aftereffect of being dropped ungracefully on his backside.

Contusions on his coccyx aside, Roxas had regained his freedom! He sprang to his feet, and began his mad dash to the break room with its blessed lock and phone that would soon be used to notify to police of the new local sex offender looking for prey. However, the strained gasp for air of the lanky man, now lying on the floor in what appeared to be complete paralyzing agony as he tried to regain function of his larynx, made him pause for a moment.

Now, one who may not know Roxas very well may think that he stopped briefly due to guilt from causing a complete stranger bodily harm. And maybe this is the case. Maybe Roxas would be able to forgive him of his corny pick-up lines and scoundrel intentions. Maybe Roxas thought that beneath the creepy possibly-molester exterior, there was a fine man worth apologizing to for nearly killing with a book, and then asking out on a date for that weekend, which would lead to a long life of love and romance together.

But really, Roxas just wanted to make sure that he didn't leave a job unfinished.

He cautiously approached the spluttering man. (The bloodfest movie marathon was a very educational experience. You couldn't just assume that they were incapacitated. That's how they get you and turn you into a zombie. If you're going to do a job right, make sure you do it right the first time. A double tap, if you will.) After making sure that he wasn't about to jump up the moment he lowered his guard, Roxas gave a swift kick to the man's ribs and pointed dramatically.

"That's for trying to steal my skin for a jacket, asshole!" And with that, Roxas hightailed it out of there, and successfully locked himself in the employee room.

Still on the floor, the redhead, coughing and wheezing in an attempt to reopen his windpipe to take in sweet, blessed oxygen, stifled back a choked bark of laughter that really sounded more akin to a pitiful, pained gurgle than anything else. He weakly struggled to raise himself up on his arms for a moment, before decided that breathing was currently easier when lying down.

A moment later, he then realized breathing would be easier still if his nose wasn't buried in the carpet. Rolling himself over, he laid an arm over his eyes, chuckling once more (which, again, in his current predicament, sounded more like an asphyxiating goldfish).

"This…_pant_…this is going to be…_pant_…very interesting."

And then he grinned most maniacally.

* * *

Okay, wow. So that's my first chapter! Yay me. It took forever, but it made me giggle alot, so I'd say it was worth it. Please leave any reviews, critiques, criticisms, what you liked and might like to see more of in coming chapters. And if you find any spelling or grammar mistakes, I'll try to figure out how to change them. :D

Until the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there guys, and thank you for the wonderful reviews and favs and everything! You are awesome! I am really sorry about the wait for this chapter, I have plenty of excuses, but I won't be listing them. So please accept my humblest apologies! Also, I honestly never would have dreamed that this chapter would become so long! I was thinking it would end up at 9,000 MAX, but here we are at 15,000! That's 2.5 times the length of the first chapter! This is by far the longest thing I have EVER written. I may have gotten carried away with developing the budding friendship between Axel and Roxas, and if any of you feel I took too much time with it, then I am sorry! Anyways, I have kept you waiting long enough! Here is Chapter 2 (out of what will probably be 4 chapters, I'm guessing)!

Oh, also, if anybody is interested in this, all book titles in this story are actual book titles (though there is one where I changed two words from She and Her to He and Him, for the sake of the story.)

* * *

"Oh, God."

Xemnas looked up as the door to the employee break room burst open. He calmly watched Roxas fly around the room cursing, gathering various furniture, including the vending machine and office refrigerator, and barricade the door shut. He raised an eyebrow slowly as Roxas surveyed his work, then added the microwave to the pile for good measure.

When the blonde finally seemed satisfied that no force on heaven or earth was coming through the door, he turned towards his boss. "Xemnas, I need to borrow your machete."

Xemnas rested his head on his palm leisurely. "Seeing as there's only you and me in a room blocked off from the rest of society, I'm going to go with no, I will not give you a very sharp and deadly weapon." He smiled amusedly. "Do you really hate working under me that much?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to kill you off, idiot." When Xemnas raised an eyebrow that promised a year of janitorial duties, Roxas quickly amended himself. "I mean, uh, sir." He coughed uncomfortably before hastily explaining himself. "Look, there's a psychotic man out there who tried to _rape_ me. He wanted to eat my _skin_. And I need it to defend myself. And to teach that sorry sonuvabith a lesson." He muttered the last part under his breath, accurately assuming that Xemnas wouldn't allow the maiming of a customer without just cause.

Xemnas gave him a deadpan stare, golden cat eyes nearly giving off an eerie glow. Okay, Roxas could admit it to himself, he sounded crazier than the guy he had just ran away from. But still, it could have totally been true.

After a few seconds, Xemnas sighed dramatically. "Well I suppose you can just hang out here until he leaves since it's almost time to close. As I'm sure Sora's already explained to you, we're having a meet-and-greet tonight for our newest employee. Friend of Demyx's, though I do hope he has better work ethics than the lot of you."

"So I can just hang out here for ten minutes?" That seemed rather unlike Xemnas to be so concerned for the wellbeing of his employees.

The manager grinned. "Sure, but it will cost you. One month of toilet duty. And if the guy is still out there stalking you after we close, then you can call the cops."

Roxas thought about it. On the one hand, there was nothing more disgusting on the planet than the public toilets desecrated by customers. But on the other hand…he rather liked his skin attached to his body, thank you very much. "Okay, Xemnas, you've got yourself a deal." Xemnas smirked evilly, like Roxas had just sold his soul, before stealing out of the break room. Roxas shrugged to himself and decided to just sit back and relax for a bit.

Ten minutes later, Roxas had replaced all the furniture back to their rightful places and waited in the back room for the rest of the employees to join him there to meet the new guy. He kept his grumbling down to a minimum. He really didn't want to waste time meeting the new guy – especially if he was anything like Riku – but the longer he was kept in the store, the less chance there was of meeting the insane redhead out in the abandoned parking lot. He sat down at the table that was sitting in the middle of the room, and drummed his fingers, wondering idly if said crazy had left yet.

The door opened, and Roxas saw a mess of wild brown hair come into the backroom, and grinned at his brother, who sent him a half-hearted glare. "Sure, sit back here while the rest of us do the work," Sora muttered, but grinned a moment later, punching Roxas in the arm.

Roxas laughed. "You're just jealous that I get out of more work than you."

Xemnas, who also walked into the backroom, glared. "Don't make me regret cutting you a break. And don't forget. Toilet duty for a month."

Sora gaped. "Whoa. Dude. _Nothing_ is worth _voluntarily_ cleaning the bathrooms."

Roxas rolled his eyes as the Demyx, Zexion, Riku, Larxene, and Marluxia began to file into the room. "You have no idea. There was this crazy, insane man out there who tried to—"

Roxas's voice cut off in midsentence as a flash of red caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He spun around in time to see the man from before slip into the break room unnoticed. Roxas's jaw dropped open in horror, and struggled to remember how to work his vocal cords. Sora looked at him oddly as a strained gurgle emitted from the blonde. "Uh, Roxas?" Sora was promptly ignored, as Roxas continued to simultaneously gape and glare, which is a very difficult feat to accomplish.

In the meantime, the redhead seemed unaware of Roxas's presence, and introduced himself to Zexion, shaking his hand. Roxas wanted to warn Zexion to run away as quickly as his scrawny bookworm legs would carry him. "Hey, how's it goin'? Nice to meet ya." The man's nasally voice finally broke Roxas out of his stupor. "The name's—"

"You."

The redhead looked up at the choked word, and spotted Roxas, whose face was an equal mix of fury and disbelief. The man's face split into a grin. "Blondie!" The man cried, holding out his arms, looking like he expected a _hug_ of all things, seeming positively ecstatic at the mere sight of Roxas.

"_You_," Roxas hissed before he leapt with the sole intent of brutally murdering the unwelcome trespasser.

Sora, who had become very keen on detecting when Roxas was about to leap into a death frenzy after months of working with Riku (Sora still didn't understand why they didn't get along), rushed out and held Roxas back. "Roxas, what is your problem? The guy hasn't done anything yet!"

"The hell he hasn't," Roxas snarled. "He should be thrown in jail!"

Sora quickly ducked his head to the side to avoid being accidentally brained by Roxas's flailing elbow. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Roxas tried to resist the urge to bite the hands holding him back, because he was pretty sure Sora wouldn't appreciate it. He doubled his struggle and groaned. "The man is a cannibal! He's a rapist, I tell you!"

The room fell silent, and Sora's grip on Roxas loosened. Roxas immediately jumped out of his brother's grasp, tugging on his shirt to make sure it wasn't damaged or creased during his imprisonment. He rolled his shoulders a moment, then brushed off imaginary dust from his clothes.

All faces stared at Roxas as if he might have sprouted a few additional heads. Sora lifted an eyebrow. "Uh, what?"

Roxas looked at all the disbelieving stares and huffed, crossing his arms. "He is!"

The man in question, looking like he was about to burst a blood vessel from trying not to bust out laughing, raised a finger. "Uh," he choked. "Could I say something?"

"_No_."

"Roxas, stop being weird. At least let him defend himself!"

"No, he's a pervert and can't be trusted! Aren't any of you wondering why he snuck back here? Because he's a sexual deviant stalker who came to kidnap me!"

There was a moment of awkward silence before Demyx snorted and drawled sarcastically. "Or maybe because he's my friend and also the new employee?"

Roxas froze mid-rant, as he turned very pale. Oh. Well. That…sorta made sense…and had a slightly higher chance of being true than his stalker theory. _Note to Self: Stop watching horror movie marathons, because apparently they make you lose your touch with reality. _Not to mention the fact that they appeared to make him abnormally bloodthirsty. He wasn't normally this violent, except when Riku had come up with yet another scheme to get into the oblivious Sora's pants. Then shit got _thrown down_.

Maybe he _was_ being irrational. Maybe he should offer an olive branch, so to speak.

He chanced a glance at the man, wondering how to say sorry to someone you had just accused of being a cannibalistic rapist.

The man grinned maniacally, seeming to love every second of this. He extended his hand out. "The name's Axel." He tapped his temple twice. "Got it memorized, Blondie?"

Then Roxas decided that rapist or not, there was no way the fucker deserved it – because if there was anything that he hated more than cheesy pickup lines, it was really cheesy catchphrases – and the near-apology shriveled up and died on his tongue.

"Call me that again, and you will wish that you had never been able to speak," Roxas snarled, olive branch be damned.

Axel laughed, not put off in the slightest, and looked like he was about to ruffle Roxas's hair. Roxas, on the other hand, looked like he was about to shred the offending appendage with his bare teeth if necessary.

"Aaand on that friendly note," Xemnas interceded warningly as he deliberately stepped between them, not really feeling in the mood to clean blood from the freshly mopped tile floor, "it's time to introduce ourselves. I'm going to assume that no further introductions are necessary from _you_, Roxas." Roxas opened his mouth to argue, but Xemnas gave him The Look.

The Look was Xemnas's deadliest secret weapon, more feared even than his ubiquitous machete. The Look was usually reserved for only the worst of customers who refused to do anything but complain about absolutely nothing all day long and existed for the sole purpose of making the lives of retailers everywhere a living hell. After The Look, the same customers were usually never seen again, unless you count pictures on milk cartons.

Roxas wisely closed his mouth.

Sora laughed brightly, effectively dispelling the tension in the room in that way that only he could. "I'm Sora," he grinned at the new hire, jabbing one thumb into his own chest while throwing his other arm around Roxas's neck. "Older brother to the, uh, _imaginative_ and violent Roxas." Roxas elbowed Sora in the ribs in reply.

Axel grinned. "Yeah, I could have guessed. You could pass for twins."

Sora laughed. "Yeah. He may have inherited my looks, but he obviously didn't inherit my brain. I mean, come on. A cannibal?" Insert rolling of eyes. Axel grinned again.

Roxas glared. "You're only a year older than me," he muttered sullenly. "And leave me out of your introductions."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I guess you know Demyx already, being friends and all."

Axel smirked. "Oh yeah. Me and Dem go way back, don't we, Dem?"

Demyx strolled over to where Axel was standing. "Oh yeah, I knew you before you were cool. Oh wait, no, you're still a loser." Axel play-punched him in the shoulder, before they both grinned. And then they performed a series of complicated secret handshakes that are usually reserved for annoying ten-year-olds and frat-boys. Roxas narrowed his eyes heatedly. He hated annoying ten-year-olds and frat-boys. He cursed Sora's arm around his neck for keeping him at bay.

Demyx pointed behind him, continuing the introductions. "Anyways, this here is Zexion." The slate-haired man nodded minutely in Axel's direction. "I think you were in the process of introducing yourselves before Roxas had his mental breakdown." Roxas's shoe went flying in the direction of Demyx's head. "Uh, by which I mean, um…" Demyx's voice trailed off into a nervous chuckle.

Demyx was saved from having to correct himself as Axel leaned over and leered up and down at Zexion, who seemed to be rather affronted at the ocular invasion of his personal space.

"Huh, so _you're_ Zexion." Axel looked up at Demyx and winked. "Not too bad." Zexion turned a faint shade of pink, and Demyx looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Larxene smirked wickedly and cackled. "Oh, and what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?" Her voice sounded innocent, but her expression was anything but. Like it wasn't already totally obvious.

"Uh, well…you see…um…" Demyx began spasming in nervousness, before coughing in a very non-discreet manner and hastily changing the subject. "Uh, yeah, anyways, that's Larxene, Marluxia, and—"

"Riku," the white-haired boy drawled arrogantly, like perhaps his coworkers had saved him best for last, instead of more as an afterthought. Riku folded his arms and stared coolly down his nose at Axel. Which was much harder than it sounds, considering the fact that Axel was a good head taller than Riku. "I'm sure you're not, but if you _are_ a cannibal, feel free to kill Roxas, who is an eternal thorn in my side."

There were a few murmurs throughout the small group of people. Many of these rumors sounded suspiciously like exasperated sighs, or possibly whispers of _Here we go again…_

Riku's green eyes suddenly flashed like steel. "But stay away from Sora. He is _mine_."

There was a subtle shifting across the room, as an air of nervousness permeated over the room. A few glances were cast at the door, wondering if it would be possible to escape now before they were turned into civilian casualties.

Riku's face brightened at the thought of Sora, never mind the fact that he still remained but a few feet away, who wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention. His eyes melted from metal into misty, gooey, gobs of green that are reserved for love sick idiots, of which Riku was the definition of. He sighed happily. "We're going to get married and have tons of butt babies, and I'll get laid _every night_. It'll be _awesome_," he crooned gleefully, as if he had already nailed the unaware brunette (who had had heard nothing of Riku's proclamations, but instead had discovered a stray cricket wondering by in that moment, and immediately named it Jiminy. Roxas mentally shook his head. Sora was just weird sometimes).

Riku winked and gave a thumbs-up with one hand, while holding the other out for someone to return the requested high five. Of which, no one complied. In fact, no one moved a muscle, except to discreetly peek at Roxas from the corners of their eyes with looks that were a mix of horrified pity – Riku would never learn – and abject terror.

Oddly enough, Roxas didn't look all that upset. In fact, he seemed to have gone into a meditative state of serenity reserved only for monks who were perfectly one with nature. This was far scarier than any other facial expression he could have donned, because as everyone knows, those monks could not only kill you with just one blink, but also quite possibly erase any evidence that you ever existed, while simultaneously screwing your mom. While still somehow able to remain celibate.

Nobody moved, afraid to break the calm before the storm. Except for Axel, who just seemed confused. Again, looks were cast at the emergency exit door – and this certainly constituted an emergency – warring with the thought of fleeing to safety, but also the theory that worked the same with bears as it did with Roxas: Never, ever, make sudden movements or loud noises if you value your life.

Then Demyx sneezed.

And all hell broke loose.

Roxas, suddenly ready for action, leapt for the nearest book that was conveniently lying nearby, and jabbed it in front of him threateningly. Riku glanced at the title. _Castration Celebration._ Its meaning was not lost on him. He made a sound similar to a cornered animal that had just received a severe kick between the legs and dove under the cover of the table.

Roxas narrowed his eyes at the cowering silver-haired boy. "You wanna run that by me one more time?" His smooth voice dripped with sickly sweet venom.

"Don't do this, Roxas. Please," Sora begged uselessly, tugging on his brother's sleeve.

Axel's eyes lit up with sudden interest, smelling impending chaos.

"Um," Riku said intelligently. His eyes darted around shiftily, searching for an exit that was no longer there. He knew he shouldn't, Roxas _obviously_ meant that rhetorically, but he did it anyway. He repeated himself.

Roxas lunged.

"Why me? What did I _do _to deserve this?" Xemnas bemoaned to the ceiling tiles, as if asking the heavens for the patience to refrain from murdering his good-for-nothing employees where they stood (which he asked for on a daily basis), or possibly hoping for lightning to strike them all to save himself the trouble (which he also asked for, sometimes as often as eight or nine times a day).

"Let me go, Sora," Roxas growled, struggling against his brother's hold on him, nearly foaming at the mouth. "I'm going to paper-cut his d—"

"_Roxas!_"

"—ck off."

"Roxas is on fire today!" Larxene crowed happily.

"I _like_ Blondie," Axel grinned maniacally.

Riku whimpered from under the table, clutching his nether regions in an effort to protect them.

Demyx clapped Xemnas on the back heartily. "It's probably punishment for your sins in a past life or something. Suck it up and be a man. You're stuck with us!" Zexion nodded his agreement in the background.

Roxas spun around so fast it gave Axel whiplash. "What did you just call me?" His growl grew into a snarl when turned towards the redhead.

"Would you like some popcorn?" Larxene cackled to Marluxia. "I think we might actually draw blood this time!" She said this in the same manner that a five-year-old might say when reacting to being told Christmas was coming early.

"Let's all be adults about this, guys! Violence isn't the answer!" Sora tried to shout over the clamor in the small room.

"I should have hired _normal_ people. Not raving _lunatics_," Xemnas muttered to himself.

"Kill the new guy all you want," Riku ventured his head out from under the table, not having any moral qualms over turning Axel into the sacrificial lamb, "but just don't neuter _me!_ I have plans, Roxas! _Plans!_" He then sabotaged his own plan as he smiled dreamily over at Sora, and began to drool.

"Oh, do we have any more of the caramel kind? I don't like the cheesy popcorn," Marluxia grinned back at Larxene.

"I don't think it's scientifically possible to neuter someone with a book," Zexion murmured quietly.

Sora fought the urge to be helpful and point out that Xemnas had a machete somewhere that would do the job rather efficiently, for while it would be useful to Roxas, it would most certainly not be appreciated by Riku, who was also his friend.

Roxas swiveled back to face Riku and pointed dramatically. "_Your death will not be swift._"

"Hey, I'm the most normal one of the bunch. I'm not a lunatic," Demyx pouted defensively at his manager.

"But I might be wrong," Zexion conceded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "This could be excellent research. Proceed, Roxas."

Riku promptly withdrew his head back into the sanctuary underneath the table.

"Best. Job. _Ever_." Axel crooned.

"Ten bucks says Riku cries before it's over," Larxene stage-whispered to her pink-haired boyfriend, microwaving some caramel crunchy goodness.

A muffled _fuck you_ was heard from beneath the table, along with a suspicious sniffle.

"Come out and fight me like a man, you coward!" Roxas bellowed, kicking wildly, once again held back by Sora.

Zexion grabbed a notebook and pen and sat down with aplomb, watching eagerly and ready to record his scientific findings.

"No way, twenty bucks says Sora stops it all before anybody gets seriously hurt. Like usual," Marluxia grinned.

"Why can't I have _one_ day of work where none of my employees try to murder each other off?" Xemnas groaned exasperatedly. He turned his face toward the heavens and waved a tired fist in a vague upwards direction. "Is that really so much to ask?"

"Hey, Blondie—"

"Shut up, jackass. Your beating is going to come soon enough," Roxas hissed at Axel, poised to strike and rid the world of perverted lechers forever.

_Bam! Thud_.

There was total and complete silence in the small room. All heads swiveled to Roxas, who looked rather bewildered as he stood blinking, unable to comprehend what just happened. Then he slowly bent down to retrieve the large book that, only a few seconds before, flew into his face with the velocity of a small cannonball before falling to the floor.

Roxas stared at the book for a moment, looking dumbfounded. "What. The. Hell."

"Bull's-eye!" Axel cheered with a loud, whooping yell. "You should have seen your face, Blondie!"

All heads then swiveled to the new redheaded employee, who obviously had a death wish.

Time seemed to freeze for a split second, until Roxas gave a war cry and tackled Axel to the ground.

Three black eyes, two bloody noses, and numerous bruises later, Axel was welcomed onto the employment team with awe as the only man who had ever stood up to Roxas and lived, and said blonde accepted him with begrudging respect as a new rival, who could potentially be less of a complete failure than Riku.

It only went downhill from there.

* * *

**March.**

"How long have we been working together, Blondie?" Axel leaned over the counter of the information desk that he was standing opposite of Roxas in a listless plea for the blonde's attention.

Roxas, who had been dutifully ignoring the redhead up until that point by idly flipping through the nearest magazine, clenched his teeth until they made an audible grinding sound and a vein throbbed angrily on his forehead. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Axel grinned in his usual cocky manner. "About a million." His tone implied that it would take at least a million more times to make him even consider it.

"Then stop doing it."

"No can do, Blondie." Axel continued, ignoring Roxas's eyebrow violently twitch as he viciously turned a page, nearly ripping it in two. "Anyway, answer the question. How long have we been working together?"

Roxas didn't bother to look up from his page and tried not to smirk. "Seeing as I haven't managed to get you fired yet, way too long."

Axel pretended to pout, but with the corners of his mouth quirking upwards, it didn't come off very convincingly. "It's been a couple of weeks, right?"

"Really?" Roxas murmured. "Felt like an eternity to me. In hell," he added pointedly.

Axel, not paying any heed to this last bit, sighed dramatically. "I completely understand what you mean. It's like we've known each other forever. I'd even say we were made for each other. Wouldn't you agree?" The intensity of his grin caused a few dawdling patrons to scurry away in alarm. Roxas, however, had become rather immune in the last few weeks.

Roxas pinned Axel with a look that promised a thousand deaths. "If you start that again, I will stab you with a book. _Again_."

Marluxia rounded a corner from a nearby aisle in that moment, obviously having been listening to the conversation so far. He strolled up to Roxas and patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "It's all part of the daily ritual, my friend. Axel propositions you, you beat him until he stops. Riku propositions Sora, you beat him until Sora makes you stop. Then Xemnas writes you all up, we all go home, and start the cycle again the next day." He winked cheerily. "Might as well get used to it."

Roxas glowered, his expression clearly stating _I may have gotten used to it, but I sure as hell don't have to like it_, and the pink-haired bastard walked away chuckling. The blonde scoffed silently and picked up a pen and started labeling books that needed putting-back.

"Anyway," Axel began again, trying not to grin. He loved watching Roxas get angry. "We've been working together for, what, three or four weeks now, and we still haven't gone on a single date!"

"What?" Roxas dropped his pen with a clatter as his body stiffened. What the _hell_. He wasn't surprised at the date offer, as Axel found a new way to ask for a date about every 2.3 hours. Roxas had decided that Axel's sense of humor was completely off his rocker.

No, he wasn't surprised. But he still prayed he hadn't understood that correctly, as he was tired already, and didn't want to have to beat up a guy practically twice his height – Roxas would admit that this might be a slight exaggeration, but he had long ago added 'horribly, freakishly tall' to his list of reasons why he couldn't stand Axel – for the eighth time that week. He was fairly certain that the bruises on Axel's patella should have been indication that the redhead had learned his lesson yesterday. Then again, the bruises on his sternum should have been indication of a lesson learned the day before. And the bruises on his femur from the day before that…you get the picture.

"I know, right?" Axel rolled his eyes as if he couldn't believe the absurdity of it all. "Totally ridiculous. So, I know you have this Friday off. Dinner and a movie? 7 o'clock? What do you say?" Axel wiggled his eyebrows up and down in what Roxas figured the redhead thought was a suave gesture, but really? Not even remotely cool.

Roxas stared blankly at Axel for a moment, not sure where to start. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he floundered for words. "What…do I say? What, did you memorize my work schedule?" he huffed, sounding slightly scandalized, though a more sensible question would probably have been why did Axel obviously hate living.

"Well, yeah. How else would I know when to check movie times?" Axel had a way of making his logic sound like it should be the obvious conclusion that any sane person should reach.

Roxas gaped, dumbfounded, jaw still opening and closing soundlessly. Then he decided that he going to just let it go. It wasn't anything new, and he was tired, and in a horrifying epiphany, realized that his desire to murder the redhead in divine retribution was lessening ever-so-slightly with each passing day. Granted, it was lessening slower than the moon moving away from the earth four centimeters every year, but still. It was an unsettling thought.

But still. Maybe he could give Axel a break for one day, and not beat the absolute crap out of him. Maybe he should just play along with his craziness. Because if there was anything he learned over the past few weeks, it was that Axel was completely and certifiably insane (not that he hadn't known that within five seconds of meeting the guy). Roxas sighed to himself, deciding to just indulge his insanity for the day. He pretended to consider it, and then smiled sweetly up at Axel – this was an effort, as muscles in his face that hadn't been used in _years_ strained in protest – fluttering his eyelashes just so.

"I don't go out with flesh-eating murderers."

Axel groaned devastatingly, as if his every dream had suddenly been crushed. Which, Roxas dearly hoped, wasn't actually the case. "Come on, Blondie. Don't be like that. It'll be fun." Axel had a way of making _fun_ sound like a perfectly legitimate reason for him to start carrying around mace. Or a large club to beat him with.

Demyx strolled by grinning, humming a tune he no doubt just made up, with the ever-silent Zexion following close behind. Roxas rolled his eyes. Was it eavesdrop-on-Roxas day? The musician smirked at Roxas as he passed. "Y'know, I've got a can of pepper spray if you need it." Roxas couldn't help but smirk. Just what the doctor ordered.

A slight frown line appeared between slate-colored eyebrows. "I don't think it would be wise to perpetuate the violence, Demyx," Zexion murmured.

Demyx lifted his hands defensively. "'M'just saying, 's'all."

Roxas eyed Axel up and down thoughtfully and smirked. "Naw. I could take him. He's way too scrawny to be much of a threat," he grinned, ignoring Axel's insulted outcry.

Just then Riku popped his head out from a bookshelf a few feet away, grinning wickedly. "Oh, I wouldn't worry, Roxas. Axel's a _gentleman_. He'll be gentle with you _all night long_." He leered and waggled his eyebrows at Roxas.

Roxas gritted his teeth and shoved a hardback copy of _No Talking_ into Riku's face, slowly smashing it into the nearest shelf. "You'd better shut up if you ever want to get laid, because I will _gladly_ see to it that it never happens, ever."

Riku grinned cheekily—or at least, he tried to, considering the massive amount of pressure being applied to the right side of his face by a children's book that was distorting the expression into a Picasso painting. "Welph, sheen ash uh dun wunna git laid buh you ineeway, I fink dat wud be up doo Shora."

Roxas stared blankly at Riku before turning to Zexion with an inquisitive eyebrow raised.

Zexion peered thoughtfully at Riku. "If my translations are correct, I believe what he said was: 'Well, seeing as how I don't want to get laid by you anyway, I think that would be up to Sora.'"

"Oh."

Then Roxas snarled and used his book to beat the God-fearing shit out of the pervert.

Demyx glared lightly at Zexion. "What happened to stopping the violence?" Zexion shrugged in reply before turning around to continue with his work duties.

"Uh, Roxas?" Axel ventured out, wincing, in between an uppercut to the jaw and a particularly nasty kick to the groin. "So about our date?"

Roxas paused in his bloodbath, and turned to stare at Axel—who immediately realized that drawing attention to himself in the presence of a bloodthirsty beast was probably not in any Boy Scouts Survival 101 Handbook. Roxas released his death grip on Riku's hair, ignoring his moans of _ohgodwhyyyyy?_ Then he calmly stalked over to Axel, and suckerpunched him in the gut.

Axel doubled over. "Right. Rain check," he wheezed out before collapsing on the floor. "No problem."

* * *

**April**.

Roxas sat in the backroom with his head on the table during one of his breaks. He gave a great yawn that caused tears to form in the corners of his eyes. Blinking sleepily, he tried not to fall asleep. Xemnas would have his hide if he was late getting back from his break because he had passed out.

Axel came into the backroom to grab his nametag before starting his shift. He glanced over at the form resting against the table. "Blondie!" he cried, as he did every time he saw him.

Roxas mumbled something unintelligible, but could have possibly resembled something like a _shove off_.

Axel blinked twice. "You okay, Blondie?"

Roxas groaned before, with some effort, managing to pry his face from the cool tabletop. He rubbed at his tired eyes. "Yeah, just been up all night studying. Finals are coming up."

"Oh," was all Axel said, though in a much more subdued voice. Roxas put his head back on the table as Axel walked out. Five minutes later, however, he heard the door open again, heard footsteps come in, pause for a moment, and then walk back out. A delicious aroma wafted into Roxas's nose, one that he recognized immediately and had him feeling more awake and energetic just by smelling it.

He looked up curiously. Sitting in front of him was a steaming cup of coffee in the cheap cardboard to-go cups they had in their in-store café. He picked it up, and spotted a sticky note on it. He peered at it more closely. _You better get some sleep tonight. Got it memorized?_

Roxas blinked, surprised. That was…rather unexpected and thoughtful of Axel. Then he pursed his lips. He couldn't stand that stupid catchphrase.

He hesitantly took a sip of the coffee, and found it flavored vanilla with just the right amount of sugar, like he always ordered it. He smiled wryly. Leave it to Axel to show how much of a stalker he really was by ordering perfect coffee for him.

"That idiot," Roxas scoffed softly in the empty room, and took another sip.

* * *

**Mid May.**

"Stupid piece of shit car," Roxas muttered darkly to himself. "Of _course_ it has to break down on the _one day this month_ that it rains." His car, which was actually a fairly decent one as far as college student budgets go, had chosen this particular day to allow the alternator to die. This dark, gloomy, pouring-raindrops-the-size-of-my-worthless-crappy-car day. To top it all off, he had discovered his car's refusal to work about, oh, twenty minutes before his shift was supposed to start.

Needless to say, Roxas began calling a frantic manhunt for someone to give him a ride to work. When no one was available ("What do you mean, you're busy, Sora? It's your day off. I hear a voice in the background. Is that Riku? It sounds suspiciously a lot like Riku. If that is Riku I will walk over there and _personally_—oh, it's not him? Are you sure? Well…if you say so. So why can't you take me to work? …huh, that's funny. I could have _sworn_ I just heard Riku over there say that I could stop being a whiny little bitch and shove my ride somewhere that I would really like to _not_….oh, it's just the television? Huh, must be some weird show you're watching. So why can't you stop watching TV and take me to work? …Sora? Hello?" After realizing he had been hung up on, he viciously stabbed the redial button, where Sora stammered about losing the connection and then muttered something unintelligible that sounded a little bit like _very-busy-with-homework-gotta-go-now-bye__!_ After being hung up on a second time in as many minutes, Roxas stared confusedly at his phone blinking cheerily at him that the call had ended. "But…its summer…" he said somewhat dazedly to the phone, which, as expected, did not reply.) Roxas was forced to ask to borrow a tricycle from a little blonde girl drawing with her crayons under her front porch who lived near the dorm complex.

Roxas glared lightly at the pink tricycle with its flowery basket with streamer handlebars, and the giant Hello Kitty decal smiled back at him. Roxas waved a forlorn farewell to his masculinity and cried internally.

After some hardcore pedaling, Roxas arrived at work only five minutes late, and got off with only twenty minutes of Xemnas bitching at him (a lenient sentence, to be sure. It was cut short only by Roxas pointing out that his five minutes tardiness had been turned into twenty-five, and shouldn't he be getting back to work now?) His mood, however, was shot to hell.

He stomped over to the Customer Service desk he was supposed to be manning when he was spotted by Axel. "Blondie!" he crowed happily, clapping him on the back. "How's it going?"

Roxas grit his teeth, temper flaring past dangerous levels and into the apocalypse zone. "You know, Axel," Roxas said in a terse voice. "Normally I would start to beat you, and then stop before seriously maiming you, because if you are physically incapacitated, that would mean I would have to take over _your_ job, and that means more work for _me_. But today I am _pissed off_. So call me Blondie one more time, and I swear on all that is good and holy that I will beat you to a corpse, and then I will point at you and then I will laugh. And _then_ I will pee on your body. Because I am not in the mood. So _shove off_." His volume had increased through his miniature tirade until his voice rang throughout the store in the quiet that followed.

There was a moment of hesitant silence. "You okay, Rox?" Roxas looked at Axel, surprised, temper almost immediately abated. It was the first time Axel had even come close to calling him by his name. "I mean, that was a little intense, even for you." Axel peered at Roxas, green eyes widening a little worriedly.

Roxas sighed, feeling guilty. During the last two months that he had known Axel, he had realized that even though he was quite possibly the most annoying person he had ever met, he was an alright guy. Certifiably insane, yes. Psychotic bastard who needed to have bodily harm inflicted upon his person at every opportunity…Roxas would begrudgingly admit not. He knew that Axel meant well in his own crazy way. He scratched the back of his head irritably, as apologies didn't come easily to him. "Yeah, I'm sorry, Axel. You're right, that was a little—"

"-Completely-"

"—_mostly_ uncalled for." Roxas finished, glaring slightly at the interruption. "I'm just stressed a bit right now."

"Oh?" Axel raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "Anything I can do to help?"

Roxas released another sigh, temper having almost entirely disappeared. "Um, no, but, uh, thanks anyway."

"Wanna talk?"

Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "It's…not a big deal, really. My car just broke down right before I had to come to work, and I called everybody and couldn't get a ride to work, and I don't really have the money to fix my car until my next paycheck…and yeah, its been kind of a shitty day." Roxas felt his cheeks warming slightly, feeling oddly at ease venting to someone who he had just given a death threat to not two minutes prior.

Axel's eyebrows furrowed together slightly, causing him to appear vaguely perplexed. "You didn't call _me_."

"Uh," Roxas was taken aback. "I don't have your number." Not to mention that he wouldn't have thought to call Axel even if he did.

If Roxas hadn't known better, he would have sworn that Axel was pouting. "Yes, you do. I put it in your phone _weeks_ ago. I would have done it my first day here, but it took me at least," Axel took a moment to count on his fingers, "two weeks and four days to figure out your locker combination."

Roxas gave a deadpan glare, feeling his temper creeping back. "You did what."

Axel grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Well, y'know, just in case."

Roxas was about to growl a retort when something occurred to him, effectively changing his train of thought. "No, you didn't. I would have seen your name at the top of my contact list. You know, your name starting with an A and all."

Looking somewhat proud of himself, and alerting Roxas to the fact that he probably wouldn't like what was coming, Axel smiled smugly. "Oh no, check the M's."

Roxas realized that he didn't know Axel's last name, and wondered why Axel looked like a cat that had caught the canary. Slightly curious, he decided to go fetch his phone from his locker. (When he had first started working, employees were allowed to carry their phones with them, as long as they remained silent. However, during a routine meeting with corporate buyers not too long ago, Riku's phone had begun to blast Aqua's Barbie Song. Xemnas was not amused, and after Roxas was fully entertained watching someone else beat Riku for a change, phones were banned from the sales floor.)

He walked back to the Customer Service station while beginning to scroll through the contact list on his phone, keeping a watchful eye out for Xemnas. As he reached where Axel was waiting patiently, still trying-but-failing to hide his grin, Roxas came to the M's. And he was right, he did not like what he saw.

"Hmm, gee, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that 'Mr. Right' is supposed to be you?" Roxas raised a no-nonsense eyebrow at Axel, who started to laugh.

Roxas was slightly horrified as his own lips began to quirk upwards, and realized that he was slightly amused. "Hmph," he snorted exasperatedly. "Let me just change you back to the A's." He tapped a few buttons in rapid succession. "There, all corrected." He showed his phone to Axel, smirking, which now showed him listed as Asshole.

Axel threw his head back and laughed, the sound coming all the way down from his belly. He clutched at his stomach from the force of his own laughs. "I like you, kid, you know that?" He chuckled some more, and it was infectious. Roxas found he was grinning too.

"Yeah, yeah, so you keep telling me."

Axel wiped a tear that leaked from the outer corner of his eye. "Heh, yeah, I guess I do." He sobered up slightly, but was still smiling. "But seriously, man, you need a ride home? I'll take ya."

Roxas blinked a couple of times in shock, and was surprised to find that he was seriously considering the offer. "You get off work, like, three hours before me," he said, baffled.

Axel shrugged. "I can hang around. It's not like I've got anywhere I really need to be today."

Roxas hesitated. It was still storming outside, and it was not fun to ride to work in that, let alone riding back home in the dark. But he thought about the adorable five-year-old who had lent her tricycle to him just because he had asked, and couldn't bring himself to leave it here without returning it to her. "Uh, thanks, but I've…got a ride." He thought about how Axel would probably have a heater in his blessedly dry car, and sighed internally. A flash of lightning and a boom of thunder broke the air, as if to remind him that he would be sopping wet before he got fifty feet from the store, let alone the five mile ride back. He sighed wistfully. Rain sucked.

Axel looked like he didn't believe him, but chose not to press the issue. "Alright, as long as you're sure you've got a ride. It would suck to have to walk home in this weather." Another clash of thunder to accentuate his point.

Roxas's resolve almost crumbled, but didn't want to have to explain to the little girl why he didn't have her tricycle. "Yeah…I'm sure."

Axel shrugged, clapped Roxas on the back again, and went off to finally do some actual work.

Four hours later, the storm had worsened. Roxas watched Axel leave work, and wondered if maybe he should ask for that ride, after all. By the time he had finished warring in his head with his moral obligations and his love of staying warm and dry, Axel had already walked out the door. Roxas hung his head. That answered that.

Three hours later, and Roxas and the other few employees had closed the store for the night. He watched Demyx and Zexion walk to their respective cars, while he walked around to the side of the building, where he had hidden the atrociously pink tricycle. He pulled it out from behind a few bushes.

"What in the hell is _that_?" came a shocked voice from behind him.

Roxas whipped around to see Axel standing there in the rain – he had had the good sense to bring an umbrella at least – with his jaw hanging down, face drawn in a combination of horrified pity that Roxas was planning to actually ride that thing, and a struggle to not bust out laughing at Roxas's expense.

"It's my ride." Roxas tried to stand at his full height haughtily, which was undermined as the cuff of his pants got caught on one of the pedals, and an abnormally large raindrop fell into his eye. He nearly tripped on himself, but Axel grabbed his arm to steady him, bringing the umbrella over them both.

Axel almost looked angry now. "Were you seriously planning on riding this thing home in the dark? Are you insane? You can't see two feet in front of you in this weather. A car is going to hit you."

Roxas bristled in defense and confusion. He didn't think it had been that big of a deal. "Well it's not like I could leave it here."

"It's a pink tricycle. It's got Hello Kitty on it. It needs to be burned for the good of humanity. Who cares if it gets stolen? You _need_ a new bike."

Roxas rolled his eyes angrily. "Whatever. It's not mine. Now if I can have your _permission_, I need to start heading home. It's a bit of a ride." He made to shove his way past Axel, but the redhead caught his arm.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Just let me take you home, will ya?" He seemed genuinely concerned.

Roxas started to feel guilty for snapping again. "I already told you," he said in a softer tone of voice, "this doesn't belong to me. I need to return it; I can't leave it here."

It was Axel's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, so just put it in the back of my car. It's small enough that it'll fit."

Roxas blinked, realizing that would have been the logical thing to do. He was so stunned he couldn't even think of a witty reply. "O…kay."

Axel grinned, looking like he hadn't expected Roxas to actually accept, and was pleasantly surprised. "Great! Here, hold this. I'll take care of this _thing_." The way Axel said it, it may as well have been leaking radioactive material. He shoved the umbrella into Roxas's arms and, with strength that Roxas still had a hard time believing the twiggy Axel had, shouldered the tricycle and walked over to his idling car. He popped the trunk to his beat-up car, placed the tricycle inside, and hopped into the driver seat, just as Roxas had gotten over his initial shock and hurried into the car.

Roxas gave a sweet sigh of relief as he discovered the heater was already blazing, and could feel the water already drying out of his clothes. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest, melting further into the seat.

Axel settled himself into the driver seat and clasped the seatbelt. "So, where to, Blondie?" Apparently the reprieve in the nickname had ended.

Roxas managed to wrench one eye open, and gave a sidelong half-hearted glare. "I'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night to find you watching me from outside my bedroom window, am I?"

Axel chuckled. "Tempting, but I need beauty sleep more."

Roxas shook his head lightly. "Har, har, you're hilarious." He gave Axel the correct directions, and leaned back in the headrest again. Never before had a warm car seemed so wonderful.

"So, why's that bike so important?"

"Huh?" Roxas blinked blearily, realizing he had come close to dozing off.

"I realize it's not yours, but why not just leave it there for the night?" Axel shrugged. "I mean, it doesn't seem worth the inconvenience of riding home in this storm. And it doesn't seem like something a lot of people would be itching to steal."

"Well, it belongs to this girl—"

"Oh?" Axel asked lightly, but his voice sounded slightly off.

"Not like _that_, moron. It's a _tricycle_. Didn't you see that thing and how pink it is? It belongs to a five-year-old."

Some faint tension lines that Roxas hadn't even noticed had appeared seemed to evaporate from Axel's face. "Hey, I don't judge," he chuckled, sounding much more at ease.

"Do you have any idea how annoying you are?"

A grin. "None whatsoever."

Roxas tried to not be amused, and failed. "I'm sure," he drawled. "Anyway, it belongs to this little girl who lives near the dorms. Cute little thing, loves to draw. She let me borrow it, as long I promised to return it. So yeah, I didn't want to make her wait for it any longer than necessary." Roxas shrugged a little uncomfortably.

"You like kids." Axel's voice was soft, and it wasn't a question. He smiled a little.

Roxas turned a little red. "They're alright, I guess," he mumbled. He turned to face out the window. He could see Axel's face gazing at him in the window's reflection. He couldn't place the emotion he saw on it, but it was somewhere along the lines of tenderness. For some reason, it gave him a sort of itching sensation somewhere in his chest.

"We're here." Axel's voice brought him mind back from where it had been wandering. He looked beyond the reflection in the glass and out through the window and saw his building was looming overhead.

"Yeah, guess we are," Roxas said softly. And then, for reasons he would never know, he turned to Axel and asked, "Do you want to come up?"

Axel's eyes flared open in shock, and he looked like he had forgotten how to speak. It was certainly unexpected; Roxas felt just as surprised at himself as Axel looked. But then the moment passed, and he smiled easily, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Yeah, I do."

They walked up the steps to the main doors of the dorm building under the safety of Axel's umbrella. It caused their shoulders to bump periodically. Roxas fumbled for his keycard, and nearly dropped his wallet in a puddle welling up in a dip in the concrete. For lack of anything else to say, he said, "Oh, by the way, you'll probably meet my roommate. He's usually partying with his girlfriend –she's some sort of local singer – but I think he said he would be home tonight. I think she's got a gig or something."

They entered the building and walked up two flights of stairs. Halfway down the hall Roxas stopped in front of a door, inserted his key, and paused. He hesitated slightly. "It's not much," he said, turning to face Axel, shifting lightly from one foot to the other.

Axel shrugged and grinned. "Hey, I don't judge, remember?"

Roxas chuckled dryly. "Right." He turned the key and walked in.

The dorm room was actually decently sized, considering. They were standing in a sort of cramped common room. In the center there was a beaten-up but well-used couch in front of a decent sized TV, with several different gaming consoles strewn about. There were a few empty pizza boxes and more than a few empty soda cans lying haphazardly (as well as a couple of dirty socks) on a coffee table that had seen better days. It was the epitome of every college boy's living room. There were two small halls leading from opposite ends of the room. "Kitchen's over to the left," Roxas pointed out one of the hallways, "and our rooms are to the right."

"Roxas, my man! How was work?" a boisterous voice came from the direction of the kitchen. A lean man in his early twenties stepped into the living room, gripping a can of soda. He had thick blonde hair that flipped away from his face, and he just screamed preppy jock. He popped the tab, took a swig from the can, and looked over where Roxas was still standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey!" he exclaimed, realizing that Roxas wasn't alone. "You another student here?" he asked curiously.

Axel scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, not currently. I couldn't afford the last semester, so I took a break to work for a while. I'm planning on starting up once summer's over though."

Roxas's head whipped towards Axel. "I didn't know you were in school," he exclaimed, shocked. It shouldn't have been such a huge surprise; he guessed that Axel was only two or three years older than him, a reasonable age to be in college. It was only occurring to him today how little he had ever given thought about Axel, beyond the nuisance he was at work.

Axel shrugged nonchalantly. "You never asked."

The blonde boy suddenly slapped a hand to his face. "Oh, what am I thinking?" He strode over to where Axel stood and extended his hand, beaming. "Nice to meetcha. I'm the roomie. Tidus."

Axel grinned, deciding he liked the roommate. He shook his hand. "I'm Axel." He tapped his forehead twice like he always did when he introduced himself. "Got it memorized?" He ignored Roxas's irritated sigh.

Tidus laughed, causing crinkles to appear around his eyes. "So _you're_ the infamous Axel." He raised his soda can in a mock salute. "I've heard a lot about _you_."

Roxas made a sound of indignation. "You make it sound like I talk about him all the time."

Axel laughed, and scratched the back of his head. "Not _all_ bad I hope!"

Tidus smirked. "Mostly."

"You mean entirely," Roxas muttered darkly, walking into the living room to dump his keys and wallet onto the couch.

Axel made a sound of amusement as he followed after him. "Aw, you don't think bad about me, do you, Blondie?"

Roxas increased his dark glare into a dark glower. "Sure I do. Usually when you call me that."

Axel laughed again. "Whatever you say, Blondie." He deftly dodged the empty soda can thrown his way. Axel chuckled and ruffled his blonde locks, earning him a punch to the stomach. "Ooof, c'mon Blondie, don't be like that." After Roxas looked like he was considering whether to deliver another blow, Axel hurriedly took a step back, outside of the danger zone (read: Roxas's reach). He grinned again. "Anyways, I can't stay. I really ought to go." He turned to Tidus and waved, "It was nice to meet you."

Tidus crossed his arms and smirked first at Axel, then at Roxas. "I'm sure I'll see you again."

Axel smirked back. "You bet."

Roxas muttered, "Not if I get a restraining order first."

Axel laughed and clapped Roxas on the back heartily. "I'll see you sooner or later, Blondie."

"Hopefully later," Roxas grumbled, but the corners of his lips were twitching slightly and looked dangerously close to forming a smile. As Axel stepped out of the door, and Roxas was back in the privacy of his own room, he shook his head, but allowed a small, soft smile to appear on his face. He had a feeling that something was changing between Axel and himself, something for the better. He wasn't sure if he minded that much.

The next morning Roxas left the dorm early to allow himself time to catch the bus to work, cursing his failure of a car of the millionth time in the last 24 hours. He stood in front of the building, closing the front door with a magnetic click as the electronic lock caught. He turned around to walk down the steps, and only made it a step before he froze. Then he unfroze and gave a level stare. "This could be considered stalking, you know," he deadpanned.

Axel's car was illegally parked in front of the dorm building, idling away in a silent purr (to be more accurate, more like a hacking cough, because Roxas had no idea why a beat-up old relic as decimated as Axel's car could ever possibly still be running on anything less than voodoo magic, but it did run and was dry and warm, and so had not complained the previous night). Axel stood outside the car, twirling the keys on his index finger idly, leaning against the passenger side door, which was closest to Roxas. Axel tried to school his features into the epitome of innocence, but as this was an expression not natural to Axel, failed horribly.

"I call it helping a friend in need," Axel smiled genially. He opened the passenger door with grandeur, sweeping an arm in a graceful arc towards the inside, bowing slightly. He winked impishly, knowing that Roxas couldn't stand being winked at.

Roxas scoffed softly. "Who ever said we were friends?"

He got in the car anyway.

* * *

**End of May.**

Roxas rolled around listlessly on top of his bed, boredom seeping into his every pore. He just didn't know what to do with himself on his day off. He had walked across the hall to talk to Tidus, but he was off with Yuna. He had called Demyx, to discover that he was hanging around work, even though it was his day off. He grinned when he remembered that Zexion was working that day, and began to tease Demyx, until he was promptly hung up on. Even Sora had mysteriously disappeared. With a grace that was unnervingly unnatural for him, Sora had managed to successfully evade his every question about where he was off to. Roxas scowled in the empty room, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back into his pillow. Stupid Riku. He just knew he was somehow behind this.

He felt soft vibrations, and rolled to his side to see his phone buzzing close to his head where it lay on his pillow. He answered without looking at it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Blondie, I'm bored. Wanna go to the movies?"

Roxas jolted slightly, realizing who it was, before relaxing once more. He was shocked again, however, when he felt himself smiling, and heard his voice saying, "Yeah, I do." And the funny thing was, he really did want to.

* * *

**Late June.**

Roxas and Axel walked through the parking lot towards the bookstore together. Ever since that one rainy day in May, Axel had shown up outside his dorm every day. It didn't matter if Axel's shift started three or four or five hours after Roxas's, he never failed to show. In fact, on one rare occasion when Axel's shift started before Roxas's, Axel had been written up for leaving work for the sole purpose of giving Roxas his ride. At first Roxas had thought this was slightly creepy, as this had to involve Axel memorizing his work schedule. That, however, wasn't really anything new, so it wasn't as stalker-like as it could have been.

Even after scraping up some savings after an additional two paychecks and Roxas had been able to afford to repair his car, Axel never stopped appearing in front of his door with his ubiquitous grin. And Roxas never thought to tell him to do otherwise.

After three weeks or so of this, Axel's shifts mysteriously changed to mirror Roxas's. Roxas, with a suspicious narrowing of his eyes, falsely offhandedly commented to Axel that wasn't it rather strange, don't you think? Axel just laughed vivaciously, scratching the back of his head, while boisterously exclaiming that it must be because Xemnas must have realized how _well_ they worked together.

Roxas doubted that.

These suspicions had something to do with the fact that he had one day walked by Xemnas's office door which had been left open just a crack, and heard shouting coming from inside. Roxas, being Roxas, had of course immediately plastered his ear to the sliver of light coming from the office in hopes of eavesdropping on Riku being reamed a new one.

What he heard, however, was Axel having some sort of unholy tantrum and that Xemnas, from the sounds of it, was far beyond unamused. It took Roxas a few moments to realize that Axel was begging to be given the same schedule as Roxas. He was surprised, however, that when Xemnas still refused to budge, Axel – in a flair of dramatics – threatened to quit. Roxas wondered, if it would actually come down to that, whether Axel would follow through on that. When Xemnas told him to please do so and save him the trouble of firing him, Axel piped down slightly. Guess not, Roxas thought. He heard Xemnas give a weary, exasperated sigh, pausing as if maybe he were pinching the bridge of his nose and lamenting his good-for-nothing crew, before saying that he would allow it for _one week only_, if for no other reason than to get him to shut the hell up.

That had been two weeks ago, and their schedules were still completely identical.

Roxas yawned widely as the two entered the front doors of the bookstore. He hated working opening shifts, as it involved getting to work a full two hours before the store even opened. "I got another movie for us this weekend!" Axel was chattering happily.

"Oh yeah?" Roxas muttered distractedly, having spent the last ten minutes only vaguely listening to Axel's incessant babble, opting instead to just let the nasally voice wash over him.

"Yeah, there's this guy, see, and he's got this chainsaw—"

_That_ caught Roxas's attention, as well as turned him a slight shade of green. He may have watched a horror movie marathon with Sora long ago when Axel had first been hired, but it was not because he _liked_ them. Quite the opposite, in fact. The only reason he had watched them was because Sora had started pouting until Roxas gave in. They gave him the _creeps_, which might have explained Roxas's irrational reaction when first meeting Axel. "What _is_ it with you and these horror films lately?" he groaned. Axel seemed to be under the opinion of the bloodier, the better.

Axel chuckled and ruffled his hair, an act that Roxas had stopped considering punishable by death less than two weeks ago. "I only like them so much 'cause they freak you out so bad." Roxas threw ocular fire at Axel. "Who woulda thought you were such a scaredy cat?"

Roxas punched him in the shoulder, but it didn't carry its usual force. "Am not," he sniffed, lifting his head regally, eliciting an amused snort from Axel. "And say one word otherwise, and I will flay you within an inch of your life." He grinned up at Axel teasingly. "And then I will flay you an inch past. With extreme pleasure."

Axel chuckled. "Yeah, I'll bet."

They had reached the door into the employee back room. Axel punched in the security code and held the door open for Roxas, grinning, like he still did every morning when Roxas got into his car. The two were greeted with a chorus of "_Surprise!_" upon entering the room.

"Wha-?" Axel's jaw hung open, looking around as he saw Sora, Riku (who appeared less enthusiastic than the others in the room), Demyx, Zexion (who looked slightly less apathetic than on any other given day), Marluxia, Larxene, and Xemnas standing in the back. Sora had a ridiculous party hat perched on his head at an odd angle. "What's going on?"

Roxas looked slightly peeved. "Sora," he hissed warningly. "I thought I told you _not_—"

Larxene cackled happily. "You mean Roxas didn't even _tell_ you, Axel? And here I thought you were _friends_," she smiled almost sadistically, though it was more of her default expression than any real intended malice.

Axel looked at Roxas curiously. "What's going on, Rox?"

Roxas looked uncomfortable and slightly red. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other while sighing. "It's nothing, really, just—"

"It's Roxas's birthday!" Sora exclaimed happily.

"_What?_" Axel looked incredulously from Roxas, who looked like he would very much like to melt into the floor, to Sora, who looked like he had just announced it was Christmas. "Wha—why didn't anyone tell me?"

Sora looked down sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Axel. Must have forgotten. I thought I did, honest!" Sora looked so earnest as to not hurt Axel's feelings that he found himself ruffling Sora's hair, an act he usually reserved solely for Roxas. Roxas surprised himself as he felt an odd pang in his chest at the sight.

"Nah, it's no biggie." Then he turned towards Roxas. "But why didn't _you_ say something to me? I would have gotten you something!" He sounded slightly cheated.

Roxas scratched his head and looked to the side. He muttered something.

"What?" Axel leaned closer, looking confused and slightly irritated.

"I said I don't like birthdays!" Roxas burst out, face stained an embarrassed red.

Axel stepped back. "Why? There's cake, and ice cream, and presents, and friends. What's not to like?"

Riku chimed in smugly. "Roxas just doesn't like being the center of attention."

Roxas glared icily at Riku, but said nothing.

Sora stepped closer hesitantly. "I'm sorry, Roxas, I know you said you didn't want me to do anything, but I wanted to have a party with all of us, and, and…"

Roxas looked over at Sora, who seemed genuinely upset that Roxas might be upset. He sighed again, and felt guilty. "Is that chocolate cake?" he tried to sound interested in having this party, because obviously Sora wanted it to go well. "I love chocolate."

Sora beamed. "Yeah, it's really yummy! Riku and I made it ourselves!" Roxas snarled at the same time that Riku blanched. Sora slapped a hand to his forehead. "Oops, I wasn't supposed to mention that part, was I? Heh heh…uh, forget I said that."

Roxas narrowed his eyes into dangerous slits. "You spent time with _Riku?_" For the tone of his voice, he may have been asking if Sora had been rolling in a steaming pile of dog poo.

Marluxia choked. "Riku _bakes?_" Larxene looked like Christmas had come early.

"What's so bad about Riku?" Sora cried. Roxas chose not to dignify this with a response, as there were not enough hours in the day to recite his list.

Riku lifted his head regally, manly dignity held together only by copious amounts of duct tape, super glue, and his massive ego. "I'll have you know that this is the best cake that has ever existed in the _history of mankind_." His glare dared anyone to say otherwise.

"I'm fairly certain that is statistically improbable," Zexion murmured from the corner he was lurking in.

Demyx grabbed a fork and dug out a large chunk of cake, sticking it in his mouth. Riku _urk_ed as his confectionary perfection was thus desecrated. "Yeah, it's actually kind of shitty." Riku tried not to cry.

"That was pretty brave of you, Demyx." Roxas grinned. "Considering Riku made it, I had almost assumed that it was poisoned. I was going to have Axel take the first bite since he's expendable," he looked over his shoulder at where Axel was standing, grinning, expecting an outraged cry of indignation. It took Roxas a few moments to realize he was staring at thin air. He frowned. "Uh, where did Axel go?" His friends, however, had gone back to teasing Riku's cake, and didn't hear him. "Guys? Axel's gone." He felt himself becoming slightly worried.

Before he could get too worked up, however, he heard the beeping of the electronic lock code being entered on the other side of the door. Roxas released a breath he didn't even realize he had begun to hold when Axel's unmanageable mane of hair popped back into the room. Nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them. For all intents and purposes, Roxas was the only one who even seemed to realize that Axel had temporarily left.

"Where did you go?" Roxas looked up at him curiously.

Axel looked slightly red and handed something to Roxas in a harsh manner that was a telltale sign of his embarrassment. He mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"I _said_," Axel snapped, "I would have gotten you something better if I had a little more time to go shopping."

Roxas looked down, to see a rectangular shaped something crudely wrapped in shiny wrapping paper with the company logo embossed several times over it. "Axel, we don't open for another two hours; none of the cash registers are up. Did you just steal a book from the shelves and wrap it for me?" he asked incredulously, not sure whether to be flattered or exasperated.

Axel looked to the side. "I was gonna pay for it when we open," he mumbled shamefacedly.

Well that was alright, then. Roxas smiled, fingering a side of the gift. "Can I open it?" he asked hesitantly.

Axel's face grew a little redder at Roxas's expression. "That's usually what you do with gifts, yes."

Roxas took a second to give a not-quite-withering glare at Axel's comment, then gently tore off the wrapping paper. Axel stood next to him, close enough that Roxas could feel the slightly embarrassed heat coming off of him. Roxas looked at the book, and wasn't sure if he should laugh or use his new gift to beat Axel with.

_You May Be A Horrible Person, But I Like You Anyway_, read the title.

In the end, he did neither. Instead he smiled wryly, nudged Axel's shoulder with his own, and thanked him quietly in the din of the room.

Nobody saw them exchange a smile.

**Early July.**

Roxas lay in bed deep within a giant cocoon of blankets, panting slightly. His head was swimming in a fog and his sinuses mercilessly beat his brains to a pulp. He hated calling out sick to work. Some things, however, could not be helped.

Just like he couldn't help _not_ feeling as surprised as he should have (in fact, a small part of him had almost been expecting it) when, like clockwork, not fifteen minutes after he hung up with Xemnas he heard the door to the dorm open. Footsteps padded down the hall before Axel burst into his room without so much as a courtesy knock, crying out his usual greeting of "Blondie!"

"That's called breaking and entering, you know," Roxas croaked, before giving into a coughing fit.

Axel's eyes widened slightly to try to look more innocent (trying out Sora's most effective weapon, Roxas noted on an aside). "Oh no, it's okay if the door is unlocked. Which it was."

This, Roxas knew, was an utter lie. He distinctly remembered locking it earlier in the morning. He had no idea how Axel had managed to obtain a copy of the dorm key (he couldn't even prove that he had it, as he had never caught Axel in the act of unlocking his door), but he suspected that Tidus had a hand in the matter. Why Tidus had taken such an interest in Roxas's friendship with Axel was beyond him.

Roxas lifted his head slightly to glare at Axel, but with his eyes glazed over, it didn't carry its normal strength. "What are you doing here?" he groaned after a moment's silence, flopping his head back on the pillow.

Axel grinned, holding up a thermos and an Xbox. "Chicken noodle soup and fighting zombies. The universal medicine for every college student."

Roxas snorted, rolling his eyes. "You make a terrible nurse." But he rolled out of bed anyway.

And after kicking Axel's virtual butt for three hours straight, Roxas found that he did feel marginally better.

**July**.

Axel strolled into the break room whistling a non-existent tune to himself. He immediately spotted Roxas sitting at a table, enjoying his break.

"Hey, Blondie!" Axel crowed in his usual annoying manner, waving a hand languidly in greeting.

Roxas just hummed noncommittally, not bothering to look up from the book his nose was buried in. Axel couldn't help the smirk as he thought that it was nice to see Roxas reading a book for once, instead of using it as a weapon. However, the fact that Roxas wasn't paying attention to him was simply unacceptable.

Strolling over to Roxas, he laid a hand on the younger boy's head, messing up his hair in a way that he knew Roxas really couldn't stand, but allowed anyway. On occasion.

Roxas growled, swatting a hand irritably at Axel's arm, causing him to chuckle.

"What're you reading?"

Roxas's eyes flickered up to Axel, still slightly peeved. But then he smirked. "Research material."

"We're not even in school yet. I didn't realize you were so _studious_." Axel leered mischievously, as if a desire to study was as embarrassing a trait worthy of blackmail as, say, possessing a horrible genetic mutation, or listening to tween boy bands while singing into a hairbrush in front of a mirror.

Uh, not that Roxas had any experience with _that_.

Axel blinked curiously, trying to read the cover of the book. "What subject is it for?" He reached over and plucked the book from Roxas's hand, ignoring the indignant splutters. His luminous green eyes widened as he choked back a bark of laughter. "101 Ways to Kill Your Boss."

Roxas raised his head haughtily and smiled disarmingly. "I figure the methods in here are fairly versatile, and could be used on people besides Xemnas. I'm taking down notes for later use."

Axel grinned from ear to ear. "Is that so?" He lazily flipped through a few pages, pausing at a particularly violent illustration, amusement quirking his lips upwards even more. "And am I or Riku the intended target for this…_research_?"

Roxas's eyes danced, teasing. He leaned back in his chair casually, folding his arms behind his head. "I guess you won't find out until it's too late."

Axel barked in laughter. Throwing an arm around Roxas's neck, he leaned down until his head was directly level with Roxas's, making sure to invade the personal bubble barrier that the blonde was constantly harping about. He grinned cockily, poking Roxas in the cheek lightly.

"You won't kill me off."

"Oh? What makes you so sure?" Roxas lifted an eyebrow in question, amusement lilting his voice as he snatched his book back and pointedly embedded his nose back in it.

Axel leaned in impossibly further, until he could just _feel_ the effort it was taking Roxas to not lash out at him. When he got to the point that he knew it would be suicide to push his buttons any further, he winked. "Because I'm your friend, and you lo-_oove_ me!"

His reward was a book shoved harshly into his face, knocking him to the ground, and a muttered "Whatever" from an almost-red Roxas stomping towards the door.

"So how about that date now?" Axel called after him, voice muffled as the book was still implanted into his face.

A loud growl and the door slamming was his answer.

Axel grinned crookedly. It wasn't a denial. He was making some actual progress.

* * *

**August.**

Roxas groaned as he slowly came into consciousness. Eyelids squeezed shut to prevent an ounce of daylight from reaching his eyes, he blindly fumbled for the alarm clock that was spewing forth a shrill ring. His hand finally found its target, and he was rewarded with blessed silence. He reluctantly rolled out of bed and groggily looked at his calendar. August 13th. He sat straight up, jolting slightly. He felt like something was going on that day that he should remember. Something important.

He racked his brain for what it was, but could not come up with an answer. He shrugged lightly, and plodded out of his bedroom towards the kitchen to forage for breakfast, scratching his back idly while yawning.

He walked (though it was really more of a zombie shuffle) through the hallway where his and Tidus's rooms where situated, beyond the living room, and made it five steps into the small hallway leading to the kitchen before he froze mid-step, eyes snapping wide open. Then he unfroze to prevent falling on his face, as balancing on one leg this early in the morning was a difficult feat to accomplish. He staggered back a few steps into the living room, jerkily swiveled his head toward the object that had caught his attention, and tried to speak. This was proving to be more difficult, and he only succeeded in creating a few strangled squeaks. Finally, he managed a weak something.

"What the hell?"

There sat Axel on _his_ couch, watching some Saturday morning cartoons, looking like it was totally within his right to be doing so. Upon hearing Roxas's voice, Axel promptly shut off the TV, beaming from ear to ear, and cried his usual greeting of "Blondie!"

"Uh," Roxas said. "What are you doing here? In my living room. Watching my TV. In…_are those my pajamas?_"

Axel, who was indeed wearing a pair of Roxas's pajamas (but the pants came up to his mid-calf due to their staggering height difference), waved a languid hand through the air, as if these questions were of such inconsequence as to not be worthy of an answer. "I've been waiting for you to get up."

"Oh God. Did you take them while I was _sleeping?"_

"It's a Saturday and we both have it off. We're spending the whole day together!"

"I am never leaving my bedroom door unlocked ever again."

"I tried to wake you earlier, but you're a really deep sleeper. So I've been waiting. PJs are more comfy."

"I am going to have nightmares for _weeks_."

"We've got a lot of plans for today, so you should probably get dressed now."

"I—" Roxas began, then thought better of it and sighed instead. This was going to get him nowhere. "How long have you been waiting for me to wake up?" he asked wearily. He hadn't been up ten minutes and he already felt exhausted.

Axel checked his watch. "Uh, about three hours or so?"

Roxas checked a clock on the wall. "Axel. It's only 9 in the morning now." He felt his eyebrow twitching slightly. "Seriously. Why would you ever be up so early on your day off."

Axel shrugged. "It's going to be a fun day. Wanted to get an early start. Plus, I got to watch you sleep."

A tic in Roxas's left eye jerked violently. "I'm going to pretend you never said that last part." He rubbed at his face. "What's got you so worked up about today, anyway?"

Axel grinned brightly. "It's my birthday, remember? We're gonna do all sorts of fun stuff today!"

Roxas nearly fell over. _That_ was what he had forgotten. He remembered Axel mentioning it offhandedly a few weeks back. Shit. Then he realized he had forgotten to buy him something.

"Uh," Roxas said, trying to think of something quick. "I'll be right back." He dashed back into his room, frantically searching for something that would give him inspiration for what he might be able to do for Axel on such short notice. He hastily threw around the jumble of papers littering his desk, hoping to find something helpful buried beneath. His eyes alighted on the book that Axel had given him for his birthday two months prior. He gave a slow grin.

He hurriedly threw on some clothes, not caring that they were wrinkled, and dashed out the door, shouting to Axel that he would be back and to help himself to the food in the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, he was dashing back up the stairs at lightning speed to his dorm again, and burst through the door. Axel had at least changed out of his PJs in the time that he was gone, and had gone back to watching cartoons lazily. Axel stared at Roxas. "Hey, Blondie, where'd you go?"

Roxas panted, having just sprinted up three flights of stairs before realizing he had gone too far up, and had to backtrack one floor down. He gripped his knees, trying to get his breath back. He held out the reward for his efforts, a little rectangular gift. "Here… _pant_… for your… _pant_… birthday…"

Axel looked surprised. "You didn't have to do anything. I just wanted to hang out."

Roxas shook his head, finally getting his wind back, making an impatient gesture with the gift that was still in his hand, waiting to be accepted. "No, I wanted to do something." And he did. As much as he may have been reluctant over the past half year, he had come to really like Axel and the time they spent together.

Axel smiled one of his rare serious smiles. Roxas liked it when Axel smiled like that, as opposed to the grins that were usually accompanied by some teasing remark.

"Okay, then." Axel took the present from Roxas's outstretched hand. He tore off the paper, and found a book inside, just as he had done for Roxas. He read the title.

_If He Wasn't My Best Friend, I'd Kill Him_.

Roxas had expected it to make him laugh. Something light-hearted yet meaningful, like his own book. When Axel continued to stare at the cover, he wondered if maybe he had offended him.

After another minute had passed, Roxas worriedly opened his mouth to apologize, only to be cut off.

"Do you really mean that?" Axel's voice was soft, hesitant.

Roxas cringed, guilty. Guess it hadn't been such a good idea, after all. "Of course not," he started, missing the slight slump of Axel's shoulders. "I wouldn't _actually_ kill you. I mean, come on. That would be _murder_."

Axel still had not taken his eyes off the book, but sounded slightly impatient. "No, not that. Obviously. I mean…am I really your best friend?" Axel finally looked up, and there was an odd light in his luminous green eyes. Roxas tilted his head, confused. It took him a moment to pinpoint Axel's tone of voice. He realized, with a sudden burst of clarity, that Axel was _vulnerable_. With his usual boisterous air, he realized this was a different side to Axel that most people didn't often see.

Roxas's blue eyes softened, smiling gently. "Well, I don't kill you for constantly breaking into my dorm, or _watching me sleep_, which is still really creepy by the way, or for forcing yourself into my life, or for making me actually _want_ to hang out with you. So…yeah. I guess you are." Roxas looked up hesitantly, wondering if this was getting a little too sappy.

And the look on Axel's face was so heartbreakingly _happy_, that he didn't really care. Later, he wouldn't be able to recall most of the day that he had spent with Axel. But he would remember that smile, and knew it had been a perfect day.

* * *

**Late August.**

Roxas gave another considering sidelong glance at Axel. Ever since Axel's birthday, he had been acting…well, _weird_. Roxas didn't know how else to put it.

He would often catch Axel staring off in his direction. This wouldn't have been so weird to him, if it weren't for Axel's expression. He had a somber, contemplative look, and Roxas always felt like he was under an X-ray, and his chest would start to tickle deep inside. Whenever Axel would finally realize that Roxas was staring back, usually with a questioning eyebrow raised that usually said something along the lines of _wth?_, he would bust out in a laugh that would seem slightly forced, and then chatter away in an obvious attempt to redirect Roxas's attention.

This wouldn't have bothered Roxas so much, if he could just figure out _why_.

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly. He hadn't been getting much sleep lately. He had gotten his tuition bill in the mail, and despairingly realized that tuition had been increased, and he would not be able to afford his entire bill this semester. He had as of yet to decide what to do about it.

The combination of the stress about tuition, and his confusion regarding his friendship with Axel, had led him to become short and irritable and volatile.

So when Axel had snuck behind Roxas a little later in the day and gave a hard clap to his back, effectively scaring Roxas out of his wits, he felt slightly justified in snapping.

"God_dam_mit, Axel. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Axel took a step back in surprise at Roxas's tone, hands up in an appeasing gesture. "Hey, Rox, I didn't think I would scare you so bad. I'm sorry."

Roxas took a deep breath to calm himself. He already felt bad for snapping. Axel only called him by his name when he was genuinely worried that Roxas might be mad at him. "No, I'm sorry, it wasn't a big deal. Didn't mean to snap."

"You've been acting weird today, Rox. You okay?"

Roxas smiled wryly at having his own thoughts voiced back at him. He debated whether or not he should share with Axel what had been on his mind, and quickly decided that the part about the tuition was the only safe part to voice aloud.

"Yeah, just the whole tuition thing being raised this semester. I don't know if I'm going to be able to afford school now."

Axel cocked his head slightly. "Why not get a loan?"

Roxas had a quick mental vision of himself drowning in a sea of credit card bills and debt. "That will be a _very_ last resort. I'm just trying to think of another way to pay for school."

He had expected Axel to make some sort of sound of sympathy, but received nothing. He looked back at Axel, who had an odd, thoughtful expression on his face.

"Uh, Axel?"

Axel said nothing. His brows furrowed slightly.

"Axel."

Axel's tongue stuck out in thought.

"Axel!"

And then Axel muttered something incoherent and _walked away_. That bastard. Roxas was in need! Didn't he care? "H-hey!" Roxas called out after him. Axel appeared to not have heard. Roxas tried not to feel too dejected.

The rest of the day passed like this. Every time Roxas tried to talk to Axel, he would mutter something that Roxas couldn't understand, and just walk on by with an intense introspective look to his eye. Roxas wondered if he should do something, but didn't know what.

Finally the store closed, and it was time to go home. Roxas and the rest of the crew stood near the entrance, waiting for Xemnas to set the alarm for the night. Roxas glanced over worriedly at Axel, who still seemed deep in thought. Roxas caught himself following the movement of Axel chewing his lip, and he forced himself to glance away wondering why he was even remotely fascinated by it.

"I've got it!" Axel exclaimed suddenly, pounding a fist into his open palm. Roxas swiveled his head back to him in surprise, as it was the first thing Axel had really said in the last five hours. All the other employees also looked at him expectantly.

Axel grinned fiercely and pumped his fist in excitement. "I am _such_ a genius." Axel's eyes blazed with a familiar maniacal gleam that promised mayhem in the near future, and the air immediately filled with apprehension and nervousness. Suddenly everyone seemed to have somewhere that they urgently needed to be. Zexion murmured something about needing to alphabetize his books at home. Demyx coughed, and nervously laughed while he stumbled over his dire need to polish his guitar. Terribly urgent, couldn't be avoided, such a shame. Sora scratched his head and tried to think of what he needed to be doing. The best he could come up with was playing croquet. Heads swiveled over towards Sora. "What? I do!"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Sora, you don't know the first thing about croquet. I don't even think you know what croquet _is_. If you're going to lie, at least make it plausible."

Riku grinned evilly, sensing an opportunity, and wrapped his arm around Sora. "As luck has it, I know all about croquet. And I'm going to be teaching him. All. Night. Long." He stared at Sora with heavy lidded eyes. "When I'm through with you, you'll know everything there is to know about whacking those balls—"

Riku flew off his feet as Roxas landed a particularly nasty punch into his jawbone.

"Roxas! Riku was just trying to help!" Sora cried.

"If by help you mean defile—"

"Uh, guys? My awesome master plan? Aren't we forgetting to listen to Axel's geniusness?" Axel put his hand on his hip and tapped his foot impatiently.

Roxas just ran a hand down his face wearily, all too familiar with Axel's antics, but too tired to care. All the stress of trying to pay tuition and sleep loss seemed to be catching up to him. He rubbed his eyes distractedly. "What is it, Axel?" he groaned.

As soon as Axel spouted his idea, Roxas forgot about his fatigue. He immediately threw a fierce glare in his direction, but one look at Axel's earnest face and Roxas realized, oh dear god, he's serious. He's _actually serious_. This time, it wasn't a joke.

Everyone turned silent, also seeming to realize this, mouths hung open, and each person seemed to be suffering from various degrees of shock. Roxas's eyes grew wide until his eyeballs were in danger of falling out from his skull, and he seemed to have difficulty finding his voice.

"C-," Roxas's voice squeezed off in a squeak. He gulped audibly several times and tried again. "Could you, uh, repeat that? I think, um, I'm pretty sure I misheard that in the worst way possible." Roxas looked warily hopeful, praying that he was, in fact, having audible hallucinations, and did not just hear what he thought he had just heard. Or maybe that Axel would start laughing, and it would be a joke after all, and then Roxas would beat the living shit out of him and then everybody could go home _happy_.

Axel winked in what he thought was a debonair fashion, but reminded Roxas of facial epilepsy. "You heard me, Blondie. We should get married!"

Oh. So he _had_ heard correctly. Well then. There really wasn't a whole lot he could say in response to a…a _marriage proposal_.

So he didn't.

Instead, Roxas proved that deep down, for all his violence, toughness, and masculine pride, he was just a sissy little _girl_, and promptly fainted.

* * *

Okay, so there is all of Chapter 2! I probably could have split it into two chapters so you guys could have gotten the first half earlier, but couldn't for the life of me think of a good place to split it. So here it is in one go! If you liked it, please give a review to let me know! Writing is always a more enjoyable experience when you know that people are actually enjoying what you write. Also, feel free to check my profile, as I will try to update my progress on current chapters on there, so you can get an estimate of when the next update will be!

-Grey


	3. Chapter 3

Hello! We're back with the third chapter! Apparently I really suck at planning out stories, because I originally thought that this would be three parts tops, and MAYBE end up at 60-70 pages. Well, this story is going to be at least five chapters long, quite possibly six. And I've already passed the 70 page mark. This makes me so happy! Just so you are all aware, this page does have some angsty fighting between Axel and Roxas, and so may not be as humorous as the last two chapters, but I certainly tried to make it as funny as possible!

Thank you all so much for the reviews and the favs. It makes my day everytime I get a notification that someone actually enjoyed my admittedly super-weird sense of humor. :3 I always get nervous that no one is actually going to like reading this, and it makes me so glad that there are actually people out there who enjoy it. You guys are all awesome, thank you so much for your support!

Also, if you guys are looking for a nice short one-shot to read while waiting for the fourth chapter, I posted a story called Sifr. It may not be the greatest but I certainly enjoyed writing it, and I hope you guys enjoy reading it!

Anyhow, I will stop taking up your time, and let you get reading!

* * *

"Dude. You killed Roxas."

"N-no! He…he's not dead." A nervous gulp. "I think."

"It is scientifically impossible to murder a person through speech alone."

"Stop being such a _geek_, Zexion. And he's _totally_ dead."

"And _I_ might suggest you desist from being such an insufferable idiot, Riku."

"Guys, Axel just killed my baby brother. Can we focus here?"

"For lawsuit purposes, if he _is_ dead, you're all officially fired."

"Forget Roxas. As soon as he wakes up, he's going to _murder_ Axel."

"Gee, thanks, Dem. I feel better now."

"Ugh," Roxas moaned, eyes slowly fluttering open. "Wha-? What's going on?" He tried to sit up, but his head started spinning, and promptly laid back down. "M'head hurts."

Sora's and Axel's faces suddenly took up the entirety of his vision, sporting identical expressions of concern, though Sora's concern was for his baby brother and Axel's was more for his own continued state of breathing, assuming that Roxas's initial reaction to the proposal was a good indication that Roxas would soon murder him for it.

"Roxas, this is important. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I just want to say, Blondie, that however this may look, it is in no way _my fault_."

"The correct answer is two. If you say something like six, then we know you're dying."

"I don't know how yet, but I'm pretty sure I can prove that it's actually Riku's fault."

"Hey!" Riku squawked.

"Roxas, stop glaring. I need you to focus on me, so I know that your brain isn't bleeding out."

"So, y'know, there's no need to kill anyone. Unless it's Riku. What I mean is, there's no need to kill _me_."

"And you need to talk, so I know you haven't turned into a vegetable—"

"'Cause I'm your best friend and all, and I really don't want to die—"

"—I can't handle pulling the plug—"

"—I'm too young! _Think of our future children_—"

"_Stop_." Sora and Axel did. Roxas pressed his hands to his temples, which were beginning to throb. "What's going on? What happened? I just remember punching Riku, Axel wanted to say something, and now I'm on the ground…"

"Uh…" Axel said, voice colored with abashment. "You don't remember? Hehe. Heh. Okay. Good, then I don't need to die. Um, by which I mean, would you believe me if I said it was nothing?" Axel looked hopeful that he might be able to smooth this over yet.

"Oh, yeah!" Sora chirped brightly. "You and Axel are getting married!" He proclaimed this in the same manner that a traveling salesman might proclaim that he has _just_ the no-sweat-no-fuss vacuum cleaner that will _change your life_. Sora even had the maniacal gleam in his eye right.

"Oh," said Roxas weakly. And fainted again.

"God_damm_it, Riku!" Axel glared.

"_What?_" Riku squawked, a few octaves higher than normal. "I didn't even do anything!"

"Oh yeah," Axel said, grinning shamefacedly. "I forgot. My bad."

"Nrgh," said Roxas, rather intelligently given the last five minutes of his life. He looked up at the several bodies standing around him. "I…I think I'm having a nightmare," he said, somewhat panicky. "Sora," he tugged harshly on the nearest pants leg, and hoped it belonged to his brother. Zexion, coloring as he was nearly depantsed, extracted his clothing from Roxas's death clutch, and Sora stepped in his place, kneeling.

"Yeah, Roxas?" he asked in the hushed tones used when speaking to persons on their deathbeds.

"Sora," Roxas stage-whispered. "I think I'm having a nightmare. A really terrible nightmare." He looked up hopefully into Sora's eyes. "Please tell me I am dreaming."

"Only if you've been dreaming of marrying Axel," Riku drawled smugly, enjoying the situation far more than could be considered beneficial if he really valued not having his ankles gnawed off, which were certainly within biting distance from where Roxas was laying. Riku seemed to realize this, and wisely took a few steps back.

Roxas stared at Axel for a long moment, waiting for an explanation. Axel shifted uncomfortably. "Axel?" Axel briefly made eye contact, before looking to the side with a grimace.

"Uh, look. Never mind, kid. Just forget I asked."

Roxas's brows furrowed. What was going on here? Did Axel…really have a thing for him? He paused for a moment. Well, really, _that_ was a stupid question. The only time Axel had managed to go more than an hour without sexually harassing Roxas was when he was unconscious, a state that Roxas more likely than not was responsible for putting him into. Usually because of the sexual harassment that had occurred in the hour beforehand.

Holy shit.

But that had all been a joke, right? Just one big giant joke that had been going on for six months. They were friends, nothing more. Amigos, comrades, bosom pals. Just friends…where one repeatedly asked the other out on dates…and practically lived in the other's dorm at this point…and knew every little detail about Roxas's life from his favorite coffee to his deep fear of horror movies to his every pet peeve.

Holy _shit_.

Roxas's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. Why hadn't he seen it before? It was only so _completely obvious_. Sure, he had thought Axel's sense of humor was weird in that he constantly joked about going on a date. But he had guessed that maybe Axel had grown up in a cellar, maybe, or been raised by wolves, or some other situation where he would not develop normal social interaction skills that came with occasionally interacting with people. He wasn't going to hold it against Axel's joking was slightly odd. He thought they were just friends. But now. What kind of platonic friend would do all the things that Axel had done if he wasn't hopelessly, madly in love? And he had just gone along with it. Had let it happen. Hell, he even came to enjoy all the things he and Axel did together, and actually encouraged it occasionally.

It then occurred to Roxas that they were practically dating already.

_Holy shit_.

"Did you really ask me to marry you?" he asked weakly.

And, really, this begged the question of how Roxas felt about all this. And he really didn't know.

That was the scariest revelation he had had in a long time. It would have been so much easier if he could have just shrugged Axel off, just scoff and beat Axel up for his poor sense of humor. Having spent all of his time assuming that Axel was only joking, he hadn't given serious consideration to what it could mean if Axel _wasn't_ joking.

"Look, I'm sorry, Rox, but you were worried about school—"

Was it more than friendship for him? He liked Axel, he did. But how much? He knew that when he wasn't hanging out with Axel, he would often wish that he was. He felt lonely when Axel wasn't there to stir up some chaos in his life. He had become so accustomed to Axel bursting into his dorm unexpectedly at any and all hours of the day (and night), that when he wasn't there, it almost didn't feel like home anymore.

"—needed tuition money, and I do too—"

Did…did that mean that Roxas liked Axel? Roxas licked his suddenly dry lips, and his heart thumped wildly in his chest. Maybe he did. It couldn't bode well for his mental health, but maybe. Just maybe. It was all very sudden, and his brain was still having trouble functioning. But if Axel really was in love with him, then he would understand that Roxas didn't know anything anymore. If he was, obviously marriage was way too soon, because they hadn't even been on a _date_ yet, but…

"—bank gives out grants to newly weds, it's free money and—"

…and suddenly the fact that Axel was talking caught up with his brain, which was still having some major difficulty with basic functioning and dearly wishing for some personal vacation time. It took Roxas a moment to backtrack to what Axel was saying.

It took him another moment to figure out what Axel meant, and when the hazy fog in his head began to clear, he was _not_ in his happy place.

"Axel." Roxas spoke in the calmest voice he could muster. It only wavered slightly in his new sudden fury. The calm before the storm.

"—wouldn't need to worry about loans, it's the perfect solution—"

"_Axel_." This time, Roxas sounded decidedly less serene and a great deal more agitated.

Axel clamped his mouth shut with an audible snap. "Um. Yes?"

Roxas closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, needing to calm himself. It didn't work, so he took another. And then another. And—

"Rox?"

Okay, now he was starting to hyperventilate. He was just going to ask, and then he would know. Because that was the best way to get answers. By asking. Which he was going to do. At any moment, as soon as he gathered his wits.

"Uh, Rox?"

Oh yeah, right. Speaking would probably be useful here. He took one last breath and went for it, steeling himself.

"You just said _bank_, _newly weds_, and _free money_ in the same sentence. It's a very odd combination, don't you think? Which leads me to believe what I am about to ask you here. Did you just ask me to marry you for free grant money?"

"Uh," Axel started. Obviously there was a right answer here. He knew there was, and he had a 50-50 chance of getting it right. He just needed to figure out which one wouldn't end in his murder. "Yes?" he answered slowly.

Whatever the right answer was, that _so_ wasn't it. Let it be known: The truth does _not_ set you free.

Roxas grit his teeth. So that was it, then, was it? It wasn't because Axel loved him, or liked him, or anything. He needed money. Axel didn't feel anything for him. It had been a joke all along, just like he had always thought. Roxas felt a weird, almost painful, clenching sensation in his chest, and chose not to acknowledge it. It didn't matter, because Axel had always been a nuisance to him, and he didn't care if Axel liked him like that or not. He didn't.

Really. He rubbed absently against his chest, which was still spasming.

What he _did_ care about, was the fact that Axel seemed to think it was okay to shack up with any old person for money, and that he thought Roxas was the kind of person to think so too.

And then Roxas came to the conclusion that his initial opinion of Axel (minus the murderer-cannibal part) was entirely correct: He was a sexual deviant scoundrel pervert that couldn't be trusted.

"So you mean to say," Roxas said, his whole body quivering in rage, "that you think that I'm some sort of cheap whore you can use for money?"

Axel looked behind him, like the question could have been directed at someone else. All persons nearby took a deliberate step backwards, as if to say, _Enjoy your painful death by yourself. Bitch._ Riku pointed and laughed helpfully.

Somehow, this night had taken a dangerous turn, and he wasn't entirely sure how or when it had happened. In fact, he wasn't even sure where Roxas was getting his logic from. Axel jerked his head back towards Roxas. "Uh, _what?_" was all Axel managed to choke out in disbelief before Roxas's fist came slamming into his jaw bone. And then Roxas proceeded to give the most humiliating of smack downs in the history of mankind.

"What are you – _ow!_ – talking about—"

"Lecher! Pervert!" Roxas gave a quick jab to the eye, and then a sucker punch to the gut.

"I didn't – _ouch!_ – mean to—"

"I trusted you! I let you into my home!" A kick to the shin, an elbow to the ribs.

"I was just trying to help – _fuck!_"

Roxas gave a swift and hard kick to the groin. Axel's eyes bugged out of his skull, and he fell to the ground. Roxas stood above him, panting heavily from exertion, and an odd stinging sensation was beginning to burn behind his eyes. Funny, he thought he would feel better. He always felt better when he beat up Riku, or when he had beat up on Axel in the past. But he guessed that before it was different because they had been joking around, and he knew that even if he punched Axel, he would still come barging into his dorm the next day unannounced, grin fit to burst.

But this was different. He didn't feel so angry anymore, but he certainly didn't feel better. He felt almost dead inside, like something had been torn open and left to bleed out. He didn't feel better, because he knew something had changed between himself and Axel, just like he had known that one rainy day in May. Only this time, it wasn't a good change. The stinging behind his eyes increased, and his vision became blurry. He blinked rapidly several times, and felt a small measure of relief when it subsided slightly.

He looked down his nose at Axel with as much scorn as he could, but he looked more hurt than anything else. Axel looked up at him, and Roxas didn't know exactly what his friend saw in his eyes, but Axel paled and looked back at him with an almost hopeless desperation. "Rox," he lifted a hand, as if to reach out to Roxas. Roxas took a step backwards, out of reach.

Their friends stood in the background with baited breath. This obviously wasn't one of their normal fights. Sora looked helplessly between Roxas and Axel, not knowing what to do. He made to speak up, but Riku put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. This was something very personal, and between Axel and Roxas, after all.

"Roxas?" Axel asked fearfully. The fact that it was the first time Axel had ever said his full name was not lost on him, and Roxas's vision blurred again.

He let his arms drop to his side with a dull sort of finality, and ducked his head so his bangs covered his eyes. "Axel." A small part of his mind felt a wry pride that his voice did not waver.

He turned away from his best friend and walked out of the store.

"We're over."

* * *

**The Next Day.**

Roxas should have realized that it was not, in fact, over.

They still worked together, still had the same schedules, so there wasn't really any way to avoid Axel.

Unless he called out sick, that was. Which he promptly did.

He was hoping that a good night's sleep would allow him to wake up more clear-headed about the whole situation, and that he could go over it calmly in his head with cool level-headedness so that he could reevaluate whether or not he was overreacting. He was hoping to wake up calm, cool, and fucking _collected_.

He didn't.

Roxas woke up _pissed off_. He was in the Foul Mood to end all foul moods. He stormed angrily in circles around the dorm, seething. How could Axel think that about him? How could he think that it would be okay? And Roxas thought, just for a moment, that Axel actually _liked_…

Well, it didn't matter, he snarled to himself, because it wasn't true. All he knew now was that Axel was a pervert who preyed upon innocent boys like himself for money, and needed his just deserts. Roxas grinned savagely to himself. Oh yes, and he would serve up some _excellent_ justice.

Tidus came into the shared living room in a tank top and boxers, yawning, and scratching the back of his head, which was having a severe case of bed hair. He popped open the tab on the soda can he was sporting, took a swig, and looked over at Roxas.

"Uh, aren't you supposed to be at work this morning?"

Roxas continued his angry pacing around the room. "I'm sick today," he growled.

"You…don't _look_ sick," Tidus said, plopping down on their couch with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm not," Roxas waved his hand in the air, dismissing his contradiction and Tidus's observations as inconsequential.

Tidus grinned lazily. "Playing hooky today, are we? Roxas, I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in you."

Roxas spared a quick glare at his roommate, never stopping his stride. Tidus suddenly had the distinct impression of an angry tiger that had been backed into a corner and was ready to _tear shit up_. "I'm not playing hooky. It's that stupid jackass's fault I can't show up to work today."

Tidus sat up, intrigued. This was unexpected. Was Roxas choosing to hide instead of _fight?_ He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. It hurt. A sure sign the end was nigh. "Oh wow. Did Riku do something really bad this time?"

Roxas snorted, still pacing. "Riku is a worthless piece of _shit_, and could never stop me from giving him his due beatings." Tidus tried to hide a smile behind his drink. Roxas was in a _mood_ today. "So no, I was not referring to _Riku_."

Well, this was a new development to Tidus. He hadn't seen Roxas this genuinely worked up since that night he first heard about Axel and their less-than-ideal initial meeting. Tidus tilted his head to the side. "If not Riku, then who?"

And then the door into the dorm burst open, and there stood Axel, holding a bouquet of roses and a bundle of _It's A Boy! _balloons printed with diapers and blue baby bottles.

_This_ paused Roxas's pacing, realizing that Axel still had his yet-to-be-proven mystery key to the dorm. He glared at Axel and actually hissed. "Oh _hell_, no. Get _out_."

"Hear me out, Blondie." At Roxas's respondent snarl and threatening step forward, Axel held his hands up in the universal sign for _I'm-unarmed-and-if-you-murder-me-you-will-be-someone's-prison-bitch-for-like-a-bajillion-years-I-am-so-not-kidding-please-don't-kill-me_. "I really think there's been a huge misunderstanding somewhere."

"No, I'm pretty sure I heard you loud and clear last night."

"Look, I really don't know what's suddenly got your panties in a twist," Axel said frustratingly, "but can we at least talk about it?"

Roxas hesitated. On the one hand, Axel obviously seemed to think that he had done nothing wrong, which only served to remind Roxas that Axel needed to _pay_. Roxas had his number one arch nemesis (Riku had been temporarily demoted to number two) in front of him, and a fist named Justice that he planned to introduce to Axel's face.

"Please?" Axel pleaded, shoulders slumping slightly. His eyes burned with an intense desperation to repair whatever had been broken the night before.

On the other hand, Roxas thought with a painful tug in his chest, suddenly unable to make eye contact, Axel was his best friend, and he was already missing him terribly. He lowered his fist slowly. "Fine," he muttered. He trudged over to sit on the couch, not bothering to look to see if Axel was following. He flopped down into the cushions, crossing his arms testily.

"Right," Axel breathed. He looked over at Tidus, who seemed rather engrossed by the proceedings thus far. Axel coughed pointedly.

Tidus grinned sheepishly. "Oh! Uh, yeah. Guess I'll just…go hang out in my room for a while." He slowly walked past them, giving curious glances to both boys before disappearing down the hall.

Once the room was empty, Axel chanced a glance back to Roxas, who glared in return. The clock ticked in the background, stretching silent seconds into agonizingly slow minutes. Axel seemed to be having a hard time figuring what to say that wouldn't end in his disembowelment.

Finally the wait got to be too much for Roxas. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Axel shrugged. "I heard you were sick, so I came over. I'll be back before they even notice I'm gone."

Roxas highly doubted that, but chose to continue on. "So?" he prompted, impatiently. "Say your piece and leave."

"Here," Axel thrust the bouquet of roses and bundle of balloons at Roxas, who instinctively leaned back from the floral facial invasion. He batted them away lightly, so that they no longer obstructed his vision.

"What are _these?_" He didn't mean to sound so repulsed, because really, it was a nice gesture. They were a pretty, bright red that was almost the shade of Axel's hair, and Roxas felt the urge to take a deep breath, because the smell was actually quite pleasant.

But roses were something you gave to your _significant other_ when trying to make up after a lover's tiff, not to a friend whose moral integrity you had insulted by insinuating that they could be bought as a wife for free college money. Which was not helping Roxas remain in a calm state of mind to actively try to forgive Axel.

He looked up and deepened his quickly growing frown. "And what the hell are _those?_" He pointed up at the balloons that cheerfully proclaimed _It's a Boy! _"If you think that going from marriage to having kids is any better—"

"No!" Axel cried, turning slightly red. If Roxas wasn't so focused on controlling his temper, he would have been shocked, as Axel blushing was an extreme rarity. "The store ran out of _I'm Sorry_ balloons, and I needed _some_ balloons, so these were the next best thing…" He trailed off as Roxas stared blankly at him.

"Really?" Roxas drawled coolly. "_That_ was the next best one. Not _Get Well Soon_, or _Happy Fucking Birthday_. No, you get me a _Let's Get You Knocked Up and Have A Baby_ balloon." Roxas snarled. "Because that's not totally similar to being proposed to for money. Were you planning to sell our child too?"

"Uh," Axel floundered in a moment of awkwardness that was unusual for the usually calm, arrogant man, but considering the situation and the fact that Roxas had just uttered the words '_our child_,' his discomfiture was to be expected. "Okay, yeah, moving past the fact it's not physically _possible_ for you to get knocked up, I can see that there was a flaw in my plan. These probably weren't the next best after all. But you don't understand. I _needed balloons for you_."

"What do you mean you _needed_ them? I would have been just as angry without them." Roxas batted irritably at one of said balloons that was slowly creeping towards his hair, drawing out static electricity. "Possibly less, actually."

Axel pulled out several battered books out from behind him. Roxas wondered where, exactly, Axel had procured them from; it wasn't like he had been carrying a bag or backpack or anything. After several minutes of his brain arguing with the physical laws of the universe, he decided it was really too early in the morning to be trying to calculate quantum physics dealing with pocket dimensions being used as storage facilities of literature, and thus gave up.

Axel brandished the top book in the stack at Roxas. "I needed balloons because the books told me so."

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows, and began to seriously question the stability of Axel's mental health. "Uh. What?"

Axel flipped the book open to a random page. "It's all in here. When two people are fighting, you're supposed to do things like give the other person flowers, roses, balloons, stuffed animals, and other stuff to make them stop being mad at you."

Roxas eyed the books in Axel's lap rather apprehensively. He leaned in to get a better look at them, because he had a sinking suspicion that he already knew what kind of books Axel had been reading on how to repair relationships. Sure enough, each of the covers of the books featured different variations on the same picture theme: a scantily clad woman with flowing hair standing with a man with steroid abs and who didn't even have the decency to put a shirt on.

Roxas snapped his eyes up to glare at Axel. "Please tell me you haven't been reading trashy smut romance novels to get ideas on how to say sorry. No, really. Please tell me that. Because I would hate to think that you were comparing me to the _deflowered woman_." Because apparently it was not enough for Axel to insult his moral integrity, and had to now insult his manly dignity.

"Uh," Axel scratched his cheek. He seemed to realize he had made a fatal error somewhere along the way, but wasn't quite sure what it was, and was trying to decide the best way to escape with all limbs intact. "No? Because…that would be wrong?" He said slowly.

Roxas narrowed his eyes. "That sounded like it was a question."

Axel was beginning to wonder if maybe this conversation had been doomed from the start, which, really, it was. "It wasn't?" he said hesitatingly, because he was only relatively sure that this would be the right thing to say; it was a little hard to tell with Roxas.

Roxas, who obviously seemed to think that this was _not_ the right thing to say and had decided that he'd had quite enough of Axel for one day, stood up and grabbed the bouquet of roses in two hands. He grabbed the stems tightly, and wound up like a batter aiming for a home run. He then used them to mercilessly beat the life out of the cheerful balloons until slowly, one by one, the thorns proved too much for balloons and popped. After the third balloon exploded, Axel sighed. "Right. I'll, uh, let myself out…"

As soon as the front door closed, Roxas let out a strangled cry and threw the bouquet against the wall, where it erupted in a shower of leaves and petals. He looked at the carpet where the mangled remains of the flowers lay scattered and broken, and felt that it was an adequate description of his life at that moment.

He sniffed angrily as his eyes started to burn and water.

Damn allergies.

* * *

**The Day After That.**

Roxas called out sick to work again.

He knew he was being childish, but the way he saw it, he was very liable to brutally murder Axel in a public setting that was rife with witnesses, which would ultimately lead to a lifelong imprisonment where he would slowly wither away to a corpse while breaking rocks for no other reason than to give him something to do for the next fifty thousand years. He figured that braving Xemnas's wrath was well worth a life's worth of freedom.

"Still sick, I see," Tidus commented wryly as Roxas plodded into the kitchen after he finally managed to drag himself out of bed. Roxas grunted in reply as he rummaged around in the refrigerator, not particularly in a talking mood. "Yeah, that Axel bug's a killer," Tidus continued daringly. Roxas whipped his head around to glare at his roommate, who lifted a challenging eyebrow.

"I would really prefer it if we never mentioned that name in here _ever again_," Roxas said in a voice that clearly should have signaled the end of the conversation to anyone who did not wish to die a painful, bloody death.

Tidus, who blatantly ignored this, innocently said, "Oh? And why is that, exactly?"

"Axel's a dick. End of story."

"I doubt that."

Roxas grabbed the carton of milk, sniffed it to make sure it was okay, and began to chug it, just to piss of his roommate. After drinking nearly half the container, he gave a level stare at Tidus, who was slightly possessive of his milk, and felt slightly triumphant at the irritated look on his face.

Tidus, however, wasn't one to be dissuaded that easily. He patiently waited for Roxas to stop having his passive aggressive tantrum.

Roxas rolled his eyes. It was never a good idea to fight with a roommate who was majoring in Psychology. It was even worse with Tidus, who was also specializing in Existential Philosophy, and often asked questions that made Roxas's brain hurt, like _how_ did Roxas know that this wasn't all just one big dream? Roxas, who never liked Philosophy or Psychology, would usually throw something at his roommate, and then ask if it hurt when it collided with his face. If it did, he was awake.

Roxas sat down at the table where Tidus was eating cereal. "Axel asked me to marry him."

Tidus immediately choked on his spoon.

"He – cough- _what?"_ Tidus managed to spit out after ensuring he was not going to die of suffocation from his breakfast lodging in his windpipe.

"Yeah," Roxas glared at the table, like it was to blame for his life going down the craphole.

"I…didn't realize you guys were dating."

"We're not."

"Oh." Tidus paused, before continuing determinately along, because he was nothing if not a supportive friend. "Well, most people usually wait until after at least a few dates before the wedding but…congratulations?"

Roxas snarled viciously, getting up to pace furiously around the small room. "No. _No_ congratulations. _There is no wedding_. Axel doesn't even _like_ me. You want to know why he wanted to get hitched? For free grant money. Like my virtue can just be bought like that."

"Uh," Tidus said, for lack of anything better to say.

"And then he just acts like there is nothing wrong with that! Like he thought I would be okay with that. Like I would go around marrying any old guy just to make a couple dollars."

"I'm _pretty_ sure he didn't mean it like that. He isn't the sort of guy to do something like that."

Roxas gave an irritated sideways glance at his roommate. "What do _you_ know about Axel?" He placed a hand on his hip and peered suspiciously at Tidus. "You know, you've been defending him since that first day you met him. '_Give him a chance, Roxas_.' '_He can't be all that bad, Roxas_.' I _know_ you're the one who gave him a key to get in here. Maybe _you_ should marry him," he hissed angrily, feeling a hot pang of jealousy spike through his nerves.

Tidus actually laughed. "Okay, first of all, you are insane. Second, I have Yuna, and have no interest in Axel whatsoever, so no need to get all possessive." Roxas frowned and looked like he was about to deny that he felt any sort of claim on Axel, but Tidus continued on somewhat exasperatedly. "And third, how can you _not see_ that Axel is madly in lo—"

Whatever Tidus was about to say was drowned out by a loud screech that blasted through the air, rattling the molars in Roxas's skull, and shattering a few glasses in the cupboards.

It died out, and the silence was almost deafening in contrast. "What the hell," Roxas said, "was that?" Tidus, who had ducked under the table for cover, emerged sheepishly and peered around, looking for the source of the sound.

"_Testing, testing, 1-2-3_," came a familiar nasally voice from outside, much louder than normal, sounding muffled and distorted due to the window separating Roxas and Axel, who, judging by the volume, was currently using a megaphone or microphone and an intense speaker system..

Roxas groaned, pressing the heels of his palms over his ears. "No. This isn't happening."

"_Hello? Blondie, you in there?" _Roxas wondered if he could hide in here forever. "_Hah! Who am I kidding. I know you're there_."

"I think this counts as domestic terrorism," Roxas said, slightly hysterically. He peered fearfully across the room at the window that overlooked the parking lot. He was pretty sure he did _not_ want to know what Axel was up to out there.

"_This is for you, kid_." Roxas gulped. Whatever was coming, he wasn't going to be able to stop it. He clenched his eyes shut and prepared for the worst.

Soft music began to play.

Roxas pried one eye open guardedly. That was it? _Music?_ What was that idiot up to?

Roxas frowned pensively. This song sounded familiar.

"_Tale as old as time…_"

"Oh God."

Roxas stumbled the short distance to the window and peered outside. There stood Axel upon what looked to be a hastily crafted, and poorly made at that, stage where he was crooning into a microphone. Behind him stood Demyx, who was happily strumming away on his guitar, happy just to be playing his beloved instrument, and Zexion, who looked like he would gladly strangle Axel with his own intestines given the next opportunity, acting as a backup singer. Roxas had no idea what kind of blackmail Axel had to use to get Zexion to do such a thing, but it had to be something _big._

"_True as it can be…_"

"I'm going to kill him."

"_Barely even friends…"_

"What the hell is he doing?" Roxas could only watch horrified from the window.

Tidus came over to where he was standing. "I think he's trying to say he's sorry."

"_Then somebody bends_…"

"This is a _love song_," Roxas grit out.

"_Unexpectedly_…"

Tidus shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't realize that? Or maybe he's trying to get some _other_ point across?" Tidus hinted lightly.

Roxas snorted as he stormed out of the dorm.

"Where are you going?" Tidus called after him.

"To shut him up," Roxas growled.

Once he got outside, he crept around the building, making his way around the perimeter of the parking lot, so that he was able to successfully circle around to the back of stage (which really, upon closer inspection, was just a bunch of cardboard boxes that had been duct taped together). He spotted the wire leading from Axel's microphone that trailed to an electrical outlet. He grinned in maniacal triumph as he crept silently towards it.

"Woxas?" a soft voice came from behind him. Roxas whirled around in surprise. Large blue eyes stared up at him.

"Oh. Namine. You startled me." He patted the young five-year-old on the head and continued on towards the outlet. The girl followed silently, dragging her ever-present sketchpad behind her.

Roxas reached the outlet unnoticed by Axel, who was still singing at his window.

"_Bittersweet and strange…finding you can change…learning you were wrong_…"

It was time to end this.

"Woxas, what's that man doing?" Namine asked, pointing at Axel, who was dancing now and ruining the mood of the song as he threw in a few pelvic thrusts.

"Being a nuisance to society," Roxas grumbled.

"Oh," the girl said quietly, not really knowing what that meant. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Restoring the peace," Roxas said flatly, as he yanked the cord out of the socket.

The speakers gave a squeal of feedback before dying off. Axel looked at his microphone bewildered, wondering why it suddenly wasn't working. He looked around until he spotted Roxas stalking towards him like a lion calculating the exact speed and trajectory needed to rip out its prey's jugular.

"Blondie! Did you hear the song? I sang it for you." Axel beamed proudly. Zexion, who sensed an opening to escape further humiliation as Axel's back was turned, began to creep silently away. Axel whipped back around. "_Did I say you could stop singing?_" Zexion glared as murderously as he could, which was a lot, but slunk back to his microphone, despite the fact that it no longer worked. Demyx looked torn between amusement and sympathy for the slate-haired man. Roxas _really_ wanted to know what sort of blackmail could instill this level of submission; he didn't think it could have been anything less than proof of murder.

He turned back to Axel. "Yeah, I heard it," Roxas said in a low voice.

Axel seemed encouraged by this. "Did you get the point I was trying to say?" he asked excitedly.

Roxas posed thoughtfully. "That you think that you can make me forget how much of a philandering, immoral jackass you are by seducing me with your song? That you can brainwash me with your voice?"

Axel sighed. "So, that's a _no,_ you did _not_ get the point."

"Well, here's what I think of that!" Roxas grabbed the microphone stand and began to beat the cardboard boxes that served as Axel's stage with it. Zexion, who was teetering on the edge of hysteria at this point, grabbed the backup microphone stand and joined in the decimation of the stage with physical prowess that Roxas hadn't thought he possessed, laughing maniacally all the while.

Demyx appeared slightly horrified. "Zexy?" Sheesh, he knew that Zexion wasn't thrilled about singing. But Axel, one of his best friends, had needed _help_, and when Zexion said he wanted no part in it, Demyx had to do _something_. He couldn't leave Axel hanging like that. So he had batted his eyelashes just so, until Zexion turned a pretty shade of pink, gulped, and resigned himself to his fate, agreeing to sing. Demyx hadn't thought it was going to lead to a _psychological meltdown._ He shrugged to himself, and began to kick the stage alongside Zexion.

"Demyx!" Axel cried, betrayed.

Demyx shrugged. "Zexy'll feel all guilty and embarrassed about this later, once he's done going crazy. He'll feel less bad if I do it too."

Axel, recognizing a mutiny when he saw one, sighed dejectedly and went home.

* * *

**The Day After **_**That.**_

Roxas sighed gratefully when he woke up. It was finally his day off. He was fairly certain that Xemnas would fire him if he called out again.

Unfortunately, this also meant that it was Axel's day off, and Roxas had to prepare for a relentless barrage of Axel's schemes and shenanigans.

He pulled over the battered sofa to sit directly in front of the door, where he waited patiently with a frying pan in hand, ready to bludgeon the next breathing organism with red hair to walk through that door. He wore a protective pot on his head because this was _war_, and he was a _survivor_.

Tidus walked by, giving a disbelieving stare. "Is this seriously how you're going to spend your day off?"

"I have to defend my turf," Roxas growled, eyes never leaving the front door.

Tidus sighed exasperatedly. "And what if he doesn't come? How long are you planning on sitting here like that?"

Roxas narrowed his eyes. "He'll come. And I will sit here until he does."

"Whatever you say," Tidus rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen. Roxas continued his watch.

He didn't have to wait long.

Right as the clock struck noon, the door came bursting open, and _dude_, Axel looked like _shit_.

Roxas was standing up in concern before his brain even had a chance to register the fact that his buttocks were leaving the comfort of the couch cushions, pot-helmet falling to the floor with a clatter. He even momentarily forgot about his Frying Pan of Doom. "What _happened_ to you?"

Axel came in through the front door covered in dust, looking like he hadn't slept in a month – Roxas didn't know how this was possible since it had been less than twenty-four hours since he had last seen him – and had long ago lost touch with reality.

Axel wheeled in something behind him sitting in a red wagon. A very _tall_ something. In fact, by Roxas's estimate, he guessed that when it was sitting on the floor, it was probably about as tall as him. This was incorrect, however. It was _exactly_ as tall as him, down to the hundredth of a centimeter.

"What _is_ it?" Roxas asked apprehensively, taking a precautionary step backwards. He looked at the heavy blanket that was covering Axel's latest surprise with something that was bordering on fear.

"I made it just for you," Axel smiled reassuringly, a tad too wide to ever be considered sane.

Not reassured in the slightest, Roxas took another step backwards. "You shouldn't have. _Really_."

And with grandeur that was more befitting a buxom magician's assistant, Axel removed the blanket and revealed his masterpiece.

Roxas stared in open, slack-jawed horror.

"Isn't it _beautiful?_" Axel breathed reverently.

Roxas, who really had no idea what to say in response to that, said the first thing that came to mind. "I'm naked," he stated flatly.

Tidus popped his head out of the kitchen in alarm. "Did I just hear someone say that they are naked? Because I would really appreciate not having that where I can see it." And then he saw Axel's gift. He dropped the sandwich he was making onto the floor.

Tidus whistled lowly as he walked over to inspect the large object. He stared at the perfect, smooth, _naked_ marble statue in wonder. "It's…Roxas," he said, stating the obvious, because there was no mistaking it for anyone else, despite the provocative pose it was in. "I, uh, didn't realize you were so well endowed," he said, staring uncomfortably at the marble erection.

"I'm naked," Roxas repeated between gritting teeth.

"Well, yeah," Axel said, like it would be completely absurd to have it any other way. "It's art. Everybody loves art. Art has naked people. Google said so."

"I'm _naked_," Roxas hissed emphatically, finally starting to get over his shock, and starting to remember why he wanted – no, _needed_, he mentally corrected himself with a vehement snarl – Axel's death.

"You know," Tidus said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin and tilting his head to the left. "I'm pretty sure I've seen this pose in the Kama Sutra."

Roxas began to foam at the mouth. "I'm _**naked**_," he screeched hysterically.

Tidus chuckled meekly. "I'm not really helping the situation much, am I?" he said in a small voice.

Axel sighed. "No, not really."

And Roxas, who had lost all semblance of sanity, gave a bloodlust war cry, and tackled the statue to the ground.

Axel seemed genuinely horrified to see his hard work fall and shatter to the ground. "No! My Roxas!"

Roxas, who had rediscovered his frying pan and was using it to decimate the chunks of marble into even smaller bits of rubble, snarled out each word with every blow he delivered. "You – _BAM!_ – turned – _BAM!_ – me – _BAM!_ – into –_BAM!_ – a – _BAM!_ – porno – _BAM!_ – statue!"

Axel ducked as marble body parts went flying in all directions. He leaned down and grabbed the two closest pieces and held them to his chest protectively to protect them from further harm. "Come on, Rox, it wasn't like that!"

Roxas looked at Axel, and saw him hugging half of his marble face and his stony erect manhood in his arms. He saw red.

"How dare you!" Roxas cried.

"I don't underst—"

"How can you just molest me in front of me?"

"_What are you talking abo_—"

"I do _not_ want to see your face _ever_ again." Roxas said, grabbing his stone heads (both of them) out of Axel's hands. He threw them against the ground, shattering them, and then slammed the door in Axel's face.

He turned around with his back to the door, leaned his head back, and slowly slid to sit on the floor. He took a few deep, calming breaths. He looked at the mess around him, and cringed at the thought of having to clean it up.

Not seeing Axel again… A lot easier said than done, he thought as he heard Axel's miserable footsteps retreating away. Roxas was going to have to finally face going to work the next day with Axel, and spend a prolonged amount of time in close proximity to him. And he was going to have to be at least semi-professional about it. He groaned. It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

* * *

**The Next Day After That.**

Axel didn't show up for work that day.

Roxas felt actually cheated out of something. After staying up all night fretting about how he was going to manage being forced to work side by side with Axel, he didn't even have to decency to come to work. It was like he didn't even _care_.

Roxas began to wonder if something was seriously wrong with him. Here he was, upset over the fact that Axel wasn't there, when he had spent a good portion of the last day wishing Axel would be hit by a semi-truck or struck by lightning and save himself a world of trouble. Now that Axel was actually missing from work, Roxas found himself pacing restlessly around the store, wondering why he wasn't relieved. He told himself not to worry; Axel was probably just calling in sick like he had done the past few days.

Roxas spent a good few hours like this, until Xemnas approached him, fuming. "Where is he?"

Roxas looked around himself, confused. When he realized the question was directed at him, he asked, "Where's who?"

"Axel," Xemnas seethed. "He should have been here hours ago."

Roxas felt his heart sink into his stomach. "Didn't he call in sick?" he asked, starting to feel a slight tingle of worry in the back of his head. Was Axel just going to quit because he smashed his stupid statue? He felt a pang of guilt.

"No," Xemnas said, trying to rein in his anger. "And he won't answer his phone."

Roxas felt the guilt gnawing at his chest. "I'm sure he's fine. He probably just forgot to call out sick. I'm sure he'll be in tomorrow." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that, though.

Xemnas studied him for a minute, before choosing to drop the subject. "Well I hope he comes in tomorrow. I'm going to have to write him up for this. You know the rule: Three strikes and you're out. Luckily for him, this is his first."

And despite the fact that Roxas currently hated Axel's existence, he chewed his lower lip nervously, and wondered if Axel was okay.

He eventually shook his head to clear out his thoughts. He wasn't responsible for Axel. It wasn't his problem.

Besides, Axel would show up the next day. He had to. They hadn't finished their fight. Axel wouldn't just leave their friendship hanging like that.

He couldn't.

* * *

**The Next Day After **_**That**_**.**

Axel didn't show up again.

Roxas knew that something was up as soon as he walked in the door, and saw Xemnas prowling back and forth, waiting to spring on him as soon as he entered the threshold.

"Where is he?" Xemnas snarled, grabbing Roxas by the collar and shaking him back and forth.

Roxas extracted himself from his manager's bodily assault. "You mean he didn't show up today?" he asked despairingly, as the guilt from the day before erupted tenfold. This was his fault. Maybe he should have just listened to Axel explain himself. Maybe he had been too hard on Axel. What if Axel fled the country because he was so overcome with grief over their broken friendship?

Roxas paused. That seemed a little much, even considering Axel's flair for dramatics. But still…something was obviously wrong.

"I am getting fed up with you two thinking that work is optional. I know you weren't sick, and neither is he. This is a _job_ and you have obligations that you are expected to—_Hey!_ Where do you think you're going?" Xemnas cried out as Roxas turned and started to run out of the store mid rant.

"I'm going to find Axel," Roxas called out behind him. "I'll be back!"

"You-" Xemnas cut himself off as his face turned purple in rage. He reached out for the nearest employee – who happened to be Riku – and began to strangle him as a surrogate for the two employees he really wanted to punish. "Useless, good-for-nothing employees! Why doesn't anybody work anymore!"

"_Urk_," Riku said, which was probably supposed to mean something along the lines of "Oh God, why? What did I do to deserve this? I was just trying to put away some books like the good worker that I am when you started trying to slowly murder me and I don't understand whyyyyy!" It was kind of hard to tell if this is the _exact_ translation, as Riku's windpipe was being slowly crushed to death by his manager.

"Uh, Xemnas?" Sora ventured out. "I thought I should point out that if you continue to strangle Riku, you will be another worker short."

Xemnas considered this for a moment, before releasing Riku, who fell to the ground coughing and hacking while trying to breathe in as much blessed air as he could. "Fine. Get back to work," he hissed, stalking away. You just couldn't find good help these days.

"You okay?" Sora asked concernedly, helping Riku to his feet. Riku, who was feeling rather lightheaded from a lack of oxygen, decided to capitalize on his dizziness while Roxas was long gone, and leaned heavily on Sora under the guise of needing support.

Riku nodded dazedly, wrapping his arm tightly around Sora's neck, and feigned a swoon. "They really should give us better health insurance here."

Meanwhile, Roxas got as far as halfway through the parking lot before he realized that he hadn't the slightest clue where Axel lived. He cursed at himself. In all those months, how had he _never_ gone over to Axel's place? He supposed it was because Axel was always barging into his own place, that there had never really been any need. But now, he wished that he had made the effort to venture there, if only so that he would know where to go.

He sighed before marching back into the store. He walked past Sora and Riku, pausing just long enough to punch Riku in the jaw and dislodge Sora from his progressively touchy clutches.

"_What the hell?_" Riku cried.

"Roxas! You're still here! Good, because Xemnas is ready to _kill_—"

"Nope, still leaving. Just gotta get something first," Roxas said flatly, continuing on his path without even sparing a glance for either of them.

Roxas marched through the employee break room and through the door on the opposite side, barging directly into the manager's office. Xemnas, who was currently in the process of systematically yanking the hair from his skull, saw Roxas and gave a big sigh of relief.

"Roxas, I knew you would come to your senses. I could always count on you to…wait, what are you doing?" Xemnas watched as Roxas determinedly strode wordlessly beyond him, and began to rifle through the desk drawers until he pulled a file out triumphantly.

"What are you doing with Axel's employee file?" Xemnas asked irritated, not particularly liking being ignored.

"I can't go fetch Axel if I don't know where he lives," Roxas hummed distractedly as he searched for a pen and paper to copy down the information.

"How do you not know that by now? I thought you were practically living together," Xemnas said disbelievingly. Roxas ignored this, having found a Sharpie and began to scrawl the information onto the palm of his hand. "Wait, so you seriously mean to say that you are still leaving?" Xemnas asked angrily. "You have some balls coming back in here. I ought to fire you both."

Roxas capped his pen and stared levelly at Xemnas. "I am retrieving your wayward employee. You should be thanking me. I'll be back soon." He left Xemnas spluttering in a rage.

Ten minutes after Roxas left, Riku found his boss repeatedly banging his head into a wall. "Woah, you okay?" he asked. This, obviously, was a stupid thing to do, because it snapped Xemnas out of his admittedly self-abusive Zen-like trance, and brought Xemnas's rage upon himself. "Why does this keep happening to me?" Riku choked out, as he once again found himself being strangled.

About twenty minutes after Riku was once again rescued by the selfless courage of Sora, Roxas found himself standing in front of an apartment building that appeared to be more rubble than actual, sturdy walls. Roxas wondered if maybe there was a reason why Axel spent all of his time over at his dorm instead of his own place.

He took a deep, steadying breath, and began to climb the stairs.

Roxas stood in a hallway with peeling wallpaper, and where a light further down the hall repeatedly flicked on and off in odd intervals. Roxas gulped nervously. He was standing in front of apartment 2138, or at least he guessed this was, in fact, room 2138. The 2 had apparently fallen off long before, leaving a ghost image of the number, and leaving the door to read 138.

Roxas raised his hand hesitatingly. Maybe this was a mistake. He shouldn't be here. What business was it of his what Axel did with his life? If Axel really did avoid bringing Roxas here in all those months, he might not appreciate Roxas showing up unannounced. It might even make their fight worse. He should just go back to work, and hope that he was still employed.

Down the hall, underneath the blinking light, a man came out of a doorway wearing an oversized flowing coat, a pointy hat that kept his face in the shadows, and an aura that just screamed that Roxas was only moments away from being stabbed to death where no one would witness his brutal murder.

Roxas decided that appreciated or not, Axel needed to let Roxas in _right this moment_.

He knocked on the door frantically, as the shady man started walking towards him.

"Come on, Axel," Roxas whispered to himself, keeping a watchful eye on the decreasing distance between himself and certain death. He threw all decorum to the wind, and banged on the door so forcefully that it nearly buckled.

"All right already, I'm coming, I'm coming!" Roxas nearly cried in relief as the door finally opened. He immediately threw himself into sanctuary, slamming the door behind him. He mentally noted with approval the two deadbolts on the door, and locked them both. He looked through the peephole, and saw the shadowy figure continue by. Roxas sighed gratefully.

"Roxas?" Axel said, sounding oddly strangled.

Roxas turned to see Axel gaping at him. Roxas wasn't sure whether to be amused or exasperated by the fact that Axel was dressed only in a pair of boxers and a tank top, obviously having been too lazy to put actual clothes on. He looked like he had just woken up, with his hair sticking up at even odder angles than normal.

Roxas looked around the small apartment, and was surprised to see that it actually looked fairly nice. It had pleasant lighting, and was surprisingly a good deal cleaner than his own dorm. The bright white walls made the rooms seem larger than they were. Roxas was shocked to realize that he immediately felt at home.

Then Roxas remembered his brush with death and whirled on Axel. "What the hell was that?"

Axel looked slightly peeved, not liking the fact that an argument was already brewing. "What was what?" he said testily.

Roxas pointed towards that door. "You're living, like, three doors down from a serial killer. That's dangerous. I do _not_ approve."

If Axel had any idea what Roxas was talking about, he might have been touched by his concern. Instead, however, he just looked confused. After a minute or two, his eyes widened with realization, and laughed. "You mean old man Yensid? He's harmless. He likes to wear these crazy robes and all, and he kind of looks like he hates everything, but he's nice. He makes me cookies."

Roxas stared at Axel. "Cookies."

"Yeah, he makes them in really weird shapes, like brooms and mice, but they're good."

"Are they _death_ cookies?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "You're being weird." He sobered up, frowning as all traces of humor left his face. "Now do you mind telling me what you're doing here?"

Roxas folded his arms. "I came to ask you that same question. You're supposed to be at work. What are _you_ doing here?"

Axel shrugged impassively. He walked over to a white couch that was sitting against the opposite wall and lazily draped himself on it. Once he had positioned himself comfortably, he stared at Roxas with unreadable eyes. "I'm taking a few days off," he said simply.

Roxas huffed. "Are you stupid? You don't even bother to pretend you're sick and call out?"

Axel lifted an eyebrow delicately. "Like you?" he asked quietly.

Roxas stormed angrily over to the couch where Axel was lounging with feigned nonchalance, leaning over until he towered over him, and placed one hand on the armrest and another on the top of the frame, creating a cage where only he and Axel existed.

"Yeah, like me. I needed some space, but I wasn't an idiot about it. Xemnas is ready to fire you. If you don't show up tomorrow, you _will_ be unemployed. You need this job to pay for school, right?"

Axel glared up at Roxas icily. Roxas stared back heatedly. Axel looked to the side. "I didn't think you _cared_," he said coolly.

Roxas instinctively straightened up, effectively shattering the bubble that had seemed to encase them. "I…I don't," Roxas stammered slightly. True, he may have been out of line with crushing Axel's pitiful attempts at an apology, but the fact was that he was still offended by the marriage proposal and Axel's supposedly low opinion of his morals. And also, he was stubborn as hell, and wasn't ready to end their fight just yet. But still, he couldn't let Axel quit over him.

"But you better come in to work tomorrow," Roxas threatened, trying to ignore the embarrassed heat coming off of him. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he did still care. Deep down, Axel was still his friend, and he couldn't let Axel throw everything away because of him.

Axel shrugged apathetically, choosing to look at the wall instead of Roxas. "I can always find another job."

Something in Roxas snapped. He wasn't sure if it was the culmination of all the endured stress over the last several days, or whether he was pissed off at Axel for just giving up, but something in him broke, and his pent up rage came pouring out.

Roxas grabbed Axel by the collar and forcefully dragged him off the couch. Axel stayed limp in an awkward position, not quite standing, not quite kneeling. Due to their height differences, there wasn't really a happy medium for Axel to be in. Roxas held him up by his shirt as he shouted in his face. "So is that it? Huh? You spent all that time trying to get me to be your friend, and now you're _done?_ All those months, and now you're done with me? Why bother, asshole? If it never meant anything to you, our friendship, if _I_ never meant anything to you, then _why did you bother?_ Huh? _Tell_ me, fucker!"

And what happened next, Roxas would never know if it was Axel's doing or a serendipitous accident orchestrated by a fate that enjoyed nothing more than giving Roxas a good mind fuck.

Roxas, who had occasionally been shaking Axel by the collar as an emphasis during his rant, had yanked Axel closer in his anger as he yelled his last cry of "fucker!" At the exact second that Roxas did this, Axel, whose leg was beginning to fall asleep due to the uncomfortable position he was crouched in, tried to stand up slightly to reposition his weight to the other leg. Whether or not this was intentional on Axel's part is considered to be one of life's greater mysteries.

The result in both of these actions was an excess of momentum that launched Axel's face forward, right into Roxas's.

Time crashed to a halt as their lips crashed together.

* * *

So there is the end of the third chapter! They finally kissed! Sort of. But at least it's something! I actually hadn't planned on this kiss happening, until I was writing and all of a sudden, this scene was nearly writing itself. And then I decided that it actually worked fairly well with the story, and I decided to keep it. :3

Anyway, I really hope you found the story enjoyable! Please leave a review if you did! As an added bonus, it helps to convince me that yes, writing fanfiction is way more important than trivial things like homework or programming assignments, and usually results in me writing more faster!

I'll see you all next time!

-Grey


End file.
